A cure for AIDS. Better treatments for cancer. Keeping kids off tobacco. Helping drug addicts rejoin society. Finding a solution for the Middle East.
All of this pales in comparison to the work done by scientists and engineers at French's, who have developed a new mustard bottle with a cap that does not crust over with dried mustard.
I salute you, oh noble visionaries. Never again will I suffer the heartbreak of squeezing my mustard bottle, and watching that little dried mustard scab fall onto my hot dog. Truly, you are kings among men.