26 August, 2002


A cure for AIDS. Better treatments for cancer. Keeping kids off tobacco. Helping drug addicts rejoin society. Finding a solution for the Middle East.

All of this pales in comparison to the work done by scientists and engineers at French's, who have developed a new mustard bottle with a cap that does not crust over with dried mustard.

I salute you, oh noble visionaries. Never again will I suffer the heartbreak of squeezing my mustard bottle, and watching that little dried mustard scab fall onto my hot dog. Truly, you are kings among men.


  1. "it even draws unused mustard back into the bottle"ugh. mustard backwash.

  2. Mmmm, the crust isn't on the lid, it's inside the bottle!