13 September, 2002

Man, This Coffee Tastes Like...

Kopi Luwak coffee. Now, I'm not normally a big coffee drinker, except for frou-frou espresso drinks, but damn, sign me up for this:

Some delicacy is advisable because we're talking about a brew made from beans culled from the excrement of a jungle cat called a luwak that lives in the coffee plantations of Java, Sumatra and Sulawesi. The cats eat ripe coffee berries but can't digest the beans inside them, which show up whole in their droppings, collected by hand by plantation workers.

Best of all? You get to pay $600 per pound for this coffee. $600!

I'll make you a deal. You pay me just $300, and I'll personally run some coffee berries through my lower GI tract, so you can get that nutty flavor you so desperately desire in your coffee.

Have I mentioned lately exactly how stupid I think people are? Because really, I think anyone clamoring for a cup of this shit (pardon the pun) needs to be shot, as well as any offspring they might have.


  1. ...and this is news? Budweiser's been passing off animal waste as a beverage for decades.

  2. Okay, I've been thinking about this some more...

    So these cats live on a coffee plantation? And the cats are rarer than the coffee beans themselves, which is why this, er, flavor costs so much?

    Then it's not a case of "Shit, we're out of coffee and I'm jonesin' so bad I'll drink cat poop." They had PLENTY OF COFFEE and tried the cat poop anyway!

    This tells me their regular coffee must REALLY suck!