Tomorrow being September 11th, we here at the Department of Justice are going to be sure to follow proper security procedures. To wit, here is an excerpt from a memo sent out this afternoon:
1) All employees should wear their Department of Justice (DOJ) ID badges externally while they are in DOJ controlled office space. (Remember to remove your ID badge upon leaving the building.) Personnel found in a controlled area not wearing a DOJ ID badge or temporary pass should be challenged and required to provide adequate verification that they either work in the facility or are an authorized visitor sponsored by a DOJ employee;
Notice the emphasis up there. Who the hell is wearing their ID badge internally?!?!
So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this badge up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the badge. I hid this uncomfortable piece of plastic up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the badge to you.