30 November, 2002

the boys are a wee bit chilly

Apparently it's true what's underneath the kilt.

Highland tradition dictates men should wear nothing beneath their pleated skirts, in accordance with the saying "Nothing is worn beneath the kilt -- it's all in perfect working order."

29 November, 2002

More Moving

Finally finished cleaning out the old place today. YAY!

I then spent about six hours unpacking stuff, moving things around, and putting books on shelves here at the new place. So I present to you, pictures of the new place, plus, some images of my cat. Enjoy!

And let me just say, I am fucking tired. I still have to unpack the kitchen, as well as most of the study. But the living room is livable, as well as the bedroom. Tomorrow will be the fun of buying apartment supplies. And a haircut. Exciting life, huh?

27 November, 2002


So many naughty thoughts. How many years until she's legal?

"My friends always said I had an incredibly long tongue - I could make lots of money with it one day," said Annika.

Yesh. Yesh indeed.

Some Links

Ever wonder what antidisestablishmentarianism means?

Extended version of monster.com's when I grow up ads.

Also: Santa Claus makes the switch.

25 November, 2002

I'm Back

Oh hey, I'm back in the land of the living (read: internet access). Comcast brought me my cable modem, and activated my all my cable stuff this morning. I'll still be in out over the next few days, driving down to Hampton, driving to the old house, moving boxes, cleaning, eating Thanksgiving dinner, et cetera. But at least I can check my e-mail from the comfort of my own home again.

i am john adams

21 November, 2002


After two weeks and one day, I have my work-computer back. Huzzah!

I'm still trying to get things back to normal, and re-install all of my illicit software. Oddly, all of my Mozilla bookmarks showed up after I installed it. Really makes me wonder what all is being stored in my roaming profile. Although this would probably explain the several hours of hard disk thrashing that goes on every Wednesday.

Best of all, they got everything working again just in time for my vacation. Whoo hoo!

19 November, 2002

Oh My

I would just like to remind everybody: spandex is a privilege, not a right.

(Yeah, I know, it's not all spandex. But it makes a point.)

SFW. Probably not safe for lunch.

Bizarro World

Apparently, today I woke up on Bizarro world!

A secretive appeals court yesterday cleared the way for the Justice Department to use broad new authority to conduct wiretaps and other surveillance of terrorism and spying suspects in the United States, overturning a lower court that had blocked Attorney General John D. Ashcroft's efforts out of fear the new powers would be abused.


The decision represents a clear legal triumph for Ashcroft, who has aggressively attempted to implement new procedures governing Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) wiretaps and search warrants, which are never revealed to suspects and are approved by a special court that meets in secret at Justice Department headquarters.

I can't be the only person who sees a problem with this. I mean, secret courts? What the fuck is this?! The Gestapo? The Inquisition?

"We think the procedures and government showings required under FISA, if they do not meet the minimum Fourth Amendment warrant standards, certainly come close," the three-judge panel wrote in the ruling, parts of which were classified. "We therefore believe firmly . . . that FISA as amended is constitutional because the surveillances it authorizes are reasonable

...certainly come close?! What do you mean, close? This is the law of the land and the constitution of our fucking country you're traipsing all over. There's no room for CLOSE.

Would someone like to write up a eulogy for the constitution and the bill of rights? I think I saw a priest giving them their last rites.

18 November, 2002


Just so everyone knows, I'm not going to be online much this next week, if even at all. Cable (and phone) at the townhouse are being cut off today, and my new cable service starts next Monday. (And for the next three months, a heck of a deal, I might add). So, if you need to get in touch with me, call my cell or send some e-mail.

An entire week without cable or internet access. I would spend the time reading, but most of the books are already packed away. Irony can be pretty ironic.

17 November, 2002

Femme Fatale

Just got back from seeing Femme Fatale with Jenny and Soon-ah. I left the theatre wanting to do three things:

  1. Pee!
  2. Smoke a cigarette
  3. Talk with an outrageous accent

And that's pretty much it. Rie Rasmussen looked pretty damn good, although every inch a fashion model (skinny, exposed and vacant). Rebecca Romijn-Stamos had a horrid French accent, and really, really needed a cheeseburger. Or two. I've seen less ribs at a North Carolina BBQ.

16 November, 2002

MSN 8.0

I keep seeing these advertisements for MSN 8.0, like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. (Featuring a man in the gayest costume I have ever seen.) But what amuses me is how they compare themselves to AOL 8.0, and naturally assure the viewer that MSN is the superior product.

I don't know. Comparing MSN to AOL is kind of like comparing a stroke to an aneurysm. Sure you can survive one, but why put yourself through the experience?

If I Had $100

And a way to get here.

15 November, 2002

Lord of the Peeps

People with too much time on their hands.

The State

There's a really great skit by The State, about threatening the president. The premise is that anyone who said the phrase "I'm going to kill the president" was immediately whisked away by a group of secret service agents, never to be seen again.

Sadly, they weren't that far off. In an article from Salon:

Art dealer Doug Stuber, who ran Ralph Nader's Green Party presidential campaign in North Carolina in 2000, was barred last month from getting on a flight to Hamburg, Germany, where he was going on business, after he got engaged in a loud, though friendly, discussion with two other passengers in a security line. During the course of the debate, he shouted that "George Bush is as dumb as a rock," an unfortunate comment that provoked the Raleigh-Durham Airport security staff to call the local Secret Service bureau, which sent out two agents to interrogate Stuber.

The jist of the article is that yes, the Transportation Safety Administration does keep a "blacklist" of about 1,000 people who are not allowed to fly, because they are a "threat to aviation". Rumours abound that there is a second (and who knows, maybe a third or fourth) list of people that, while not prohibiting them from flying, subjects them to unnecessary harassment when trying to board the plane.

Other threats to aviation I would like to see blacklisted:

  • Drunk pilots
  • Inexperienced pilots
  • Disgruntled mechanics
  • Unpleasant flight attendants
  • Airlines that don't pay their employees a livable wage
  • Children who haven't been sedated for their flight
  • The fat and/or smelly bastard that is in the seat next to me

Oh look, some nice men in black suits are h

13 November, 2002

Weapons Inspectors

Iraq has decided to let weapons inspectors back into the country. My only comment: I really like the name Hans Blix.

12 November, 2002


This test seems to think I have a few loose screws. Crazy, huh?

Paranoid:Very High
Schizoid:Very High
Schizotypal:Very High

Things That Annoy Me

(a partial list)

  • Sounds
  • Fingernail clippers
  • Chewing while the mouth is open
  • Pretty much anything bathroom related
  • Gilbert Gottfried
  • People talking right outside my office door. Loudly. For an extended period of time.
  • People attempting to carry on a coversation through a closed door.
  • People who don't realize that the walls in this building are extremely thin, and I can hear just about every-fucking-thing they say.
  • Sights
  • Flossing
  • Looking puzzled over something that's not really difficult
  • Smells
  • Microwave popcorn, burnt
  • Perfume/cologne
  • Anyone else's cigarette smoke
  • Farts, especially those that people have tried to hide
  • Doritos Corn Chips (plain)
  • Funk
  • Miscellaneous
  • Drivers who insist on trying to get as far ahead as possible before merging onto an exit ramp.
  • PDA
  • Politics and politicians
  • FOX's inability to show their complete prime-time, Sunday evening line-up

And Now For Something Completely Different

Rumors abound that John Cleese is going to author a Superman comic.

08 November, 2002

Move Over Buffy

Here comes "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter".

I Should Really Bring My Camera to Work

Wednesday, my regular computer at the office died. Nothing like booting the machine and seeing Disk I/O error: Status = 00001000. Naturally, I call the wonderful people at our help desk, and after about 10 minutes of explaining what the problem is, and that I can't do anything as it stands, they agree that someone needs to come out and fix the machine. Well, duh.

So I've been stuck on various other machines throughout the office for the last two days. Which is a pain. One, I have to move to various stations, and constantly run into the other people in my office. Literally, run into them. There's just not enough space for people to move around a lot. Two, no other machine has all of the software that I had been using. One of the nice things about being here for 2.5 years is that I've managed to get my computer set up just the way I want it, unauthorized software and all.

What occurred to me this morning, though, is that JCON (the people what handle our computer stuff) will naturally try to re-image my machine. Thus destroying hundreds of useful data files on my drive. Assuming, of course, my drive works at all.

I meant to bring in my toolkit this morning, so I could take the drive out of my computer, put it into another computer, copy the necessary data and put everything back to normal. Of course, I forgot the toolkit. But, after cannabilizing some cables from one computer, I was able to hook the IDE drive of my computer to the secondary channel on our lab computer. And let me tell, it's a pain in the ass getting an IDE cable to stretch from one computer to another. They did, however, remind me of a wonderful moment on The Simpsons, where Bill Clinton and Bob Dole are walking down the street together, holding hands.

"If you can think of a more efficient method to transfer long protein strands, we would love to hear it."

So anyways, this is why I need to bring my camera to work. The little moments like this.

P.S.: I was able to get my data from the drive, so it's not completely hosed. Hopefully I can get the JCON monkey to install Win2000 instead of NT4 whenever he or she finally shows up.

05 November, 2002

Get Your Vote On

I voted

Snyder Lives On

High school football player is given a two-day, in-school suspension for kissing his girlfriend on the forehead. I think public displays of affection are pretty damn irritating, but this is taking things a bit too far:

Rodney Bowler, Union Grove principal, said kissing, hugging excessively and other physical contact distracts students from academics.

"We run a strong academic environment in which kissing is not an activity that needs to take place in the school building," he said.

Yeah, you never know. It might just lead to the sex!

This, however, is a bit of an overreaction on the student's part:

"It's been crazy. I don't want this to happen to somebody else," Maurice said Wednesday. "It hurt me so bad, my senior year missing my homecoming game. I'm going to be scarred for life. I'll have no stories to tell my kids."

On second thought, maybe it's not overreaction. Odds are, high school will pretty much be this kid's salad days. And fond memories of winning some football trophy or breaking some pointless record are all that he will have in 15 years, when he's getting drunk with his buddies after a long day of work at some factory in the middle of Ass Fuck, Georgia. Or shooting the shit with the other employees at Big Earl's Used Car Emporium.

03 November, 2002

james is limerick's best young farmer

Fun with Googlism.

Googlism for: james ness

james ness is the subject of the complaint then please feel free to make a reference to our mr william adam based at our dalbeattie office
james ness is an ottawa freelance writer addressing business and technology issues
james ness is still living

That last one is comforting.

Googlism for: james

01 November, 2002

We Come From France

McDonald's franchise in France suggests moderation.

One ad placed in Femme Actuelle in April quoted a nutritionist who said, "there's no reason to abuse fast food, or visit McDonald's more than once a week."

Amen to that.