31 January, 2003

Exagerrate Much?

Good old Dick Cheney:

Confronting the "outlaw" regime in Iraq is "not a distraction from the war on terror, it is absolutely crucial to winning the war on terror," Cheney said. "We will not permit a brutal dictator with ties to terrorists and a record of reckless aggression to dominate the Middle East and to threaten the United States of America."

Because that's our job, damnit!

"Our purpose is not simply to follow a process, it is to end the terrorist threats of the civilized world," he said. "We are defending both ourselves and the safety and survival of civilization itself."

Um, yeah. 5,000 years of civilization at the mercy of one man? If you say so.

30 January, 2003

It's Not Just FOX

Apparently, the WB can be pretty fucking stupid about scheduling. Take, for example, Angel. After hanging out on Sunday for a while, the execs decided that Angel needed to move to Wednesday. Okay, fine. Why keep it paired up with Charmed, when you can have it follow Dawson's Creek? (Or whatever the hell is on at 8PM)

Well, at least with February being sweeps, you'd think they'll show a whole bunch of Angel, maybe get it some ratings?

Ha! Puny human, your thinking is broken. You must think like network executives! (I'm convinced all network executives are actually clones of Phil Hartman's SNL character, "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer". "You're sensible schedules confuse me...I am just a simple caveman, thawed out and put in charge of programming at a medium-sized network.")

To quote the TVGal:

The WB made some changes to its schedule, so I want to clarify some dates for you. The Faith episodes of "Angel" will now air March 5, March 12 and March 19 and Alyson Hannigan will appear as Willow on March 19.

In other frog scheduling news, a two-hour and final "Birds of Prey" will air on Wednesday, Feb. 19 and "The Lone Ranger," starring Chad Michael Murray (Tristan on "Gilmore Girls" and Charlie on "Dawson's Creek" ) airs on Wednesday, Feb. 26.

Oh yes, I see the logic in this. First, let's take a show that has been cancelled, and show a final episode in the middle of sweeps. Next, let's take a pilot, and also put it up during this crucial ratings period. All the while casting aside the viable show which needs to find its audience, since it has just been moved.

And just to make it clear to the asshats at the WB: You are morons. Don't fuck up one of the few shows I actually enjoy watching!

Open Letter (#3)

Dear Adidas,

You suck. Thanks for capitalizing on the death of Jam Master Jay with these.

Assholes.

Reason #1 Not to Move to DC

You aren't represented in Congress (well, not any real representation), but you are represented in FOX's Miss Dog America.

29 January, 2003

Stupid People

Some dumbass bought three "magic wands", that would supposedly erase negative thoughts. She paid $5,400 for them.

$5,400!

And then she was shocked to learn that they didn't really work.

"We're investigating," police Lt. Robert Righi said Monday. "Possibly it is some violation of consumer fraud."

No. No no no no no! The woman who was stupid enough to believe that these magic wands could work, deserves to lose that money. Stop protecting the stupid people!

Unless, of course, we're talking about one of these magic wands.

Chocolate Cows

From the people who bring you Dr. Pepper and 7-Up: flavored milk. It's EXTREME milk!

Beginning in March, the company plans to sell milk in flavors such as chocolate caramel and pina colada. An announcement was expected Tuesday.

Oh man, hold me back! Piña colada flavored milk? Why the hell haven't I been putting sliced of pineapple in my milk before?!

Oh yeah, because it would taste like CRAP!

"What we heard from consumers is that the milk category today is pretty boring," said Andrew Springate, director of brand marketing for Dr Pepper/Seven Up Inc., based in this northern Dallas suburb.

It's milk, dumbass! It's supposed to be bland an boring. And really, what's wrong with just adding some Nesquik to your milk if you want something more exciting?

(Yes, aside from what's wrong with Nestlé in general.)

I've Got a Theory

And it isn't bunnies.

So here's what we know:

  • Buffy dies at the hands of the Master, but is brought back by Xander (ep 1.12)
  • Kendra is called up from the bullpen, and shows up in Sunnydale (2.09)
  • Kendra shuffles off this mortal coil (2.22)
  • Faith arrives on the scene (3.03)
  • Faith bucks the trend and continues to live, although stuck in a jail cell
  • Buffy dies...again (5.22)
  • Willow and the gang bring Buffy back (6.01 & 6.02)

Seems fairly clear cut. Everything that we know so far tells us that once Faith kicks it, one of the slayers-in-training (SIT) will take her place. Assuming, of course, there are any SITs at this point. And everything tells us that when Buffy dies...and stays dead...that's the end of that.

Or is it?

What if Buffy coming back permanently split her slayer lineage? Obviously, it wouldn't have been too noticeable between episodes 1.12 and 5.22, because Buffy was still alive for all of that. But suppose her second death brought forth another slayer?

But where is this extra slayer?

Good question. You would think that the Watchers' Council would have noticed another slayer pop up somewhere in the world. And that's true...if they were looking for one.

Think back to Buffy's "origins", as they were. Going by both the movie (which is never a terribly good idea) and, more importantly, episodes 2.21 and 2.22 (The Becoming), we get the impression that Buffy was actually the slayer for a while before anyone bothered to tell her. In both instances, her original watcher was trying desperately to find her, because he knew she had the power. It doesn't help that she wasn't in training like many other potential slayers, like Kendra, who was taken from her family at an early age.

And the Council, as knowledgeable as they were, never thought about the fact that the lineage could be split. So of course they never went around looking for another slayer once Buffy died the second time. Obviously, Faith is the "important" slayer, and they'll keep track of what happens to her.

So it is entirely possible that a new, third slayer has been walking around, full of slayery-goodness, without even knowing it. Hell, whomever was called after Buffy's second death could have been killed, and replaced...several times. It has been more than a year, and slayers don't exactly have a long shelf life.

Which leads me to this, from ep 7.04 (Help), which re-aired last night:

BUFFY: You've got to stick up for yourself. Let this bully know that you won't take any sh--guff, from him. Any guff.

AMANDA: I'm glad you said that.

BUFFY: Well, it's true.

AMANDA: (quietly) Well, 'cause that's what I did. Stood up for myself. The other day after class? I jumped him in the parking lot and slammed his stupid-ass insecure face right into the pavement.

Hmmm...seems pretty strong for a skinny, awkward girl who seems to have issues even carrying herself around. And what do you know? Last week's show, Potential, reveals Amanda to be a SIT. However, she did fight the vampire as well as the Bringers with relative ease. Perhaps she is in fact the newest slayer.

But the witches council said there was a potential slayer in Sunnydale...not an actual slayer!

True. However, were they looking for a full-fledged slayer? Or just someone with the correct "signature"? Odds are they would have seen all of the potentials in the Summers house, as well as Buffy plus this new SIT/slayer.

Yeah, fairly far-fetched, but hey, it's not like Joss and crew haven't done anything far-fetched before. And really, with Buffy both dying and coming back twice, this opens up three slayer lines. But this might also shed some light on the freaky, inter-dimensional eye's cryptic talk about Buffy screwing things up by coming back.

Or I could be completely off my chump and grasping at straws. Amazing the sorts of things my brain will come up with while I'm at work.

LOTR 2: A Lot More Stuff Happens

Dave Barry sums up the new Lord of the Rings movie.

He also writes a blog. I think this is a great endorsement for blogging:

Blogs: they're not just for antisocial geeks and self-important drama queens anymore!

28 January, 2003

Yet Another Test

The Oracle of Starbucks has spoken:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Venti white chocolate mocha are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

So either I've been getting the wrong drink all this time, or I just don't know myself as well as I thought I did.

State of the Union

Zap2it's blurb about tonight's SOTU address:

State of the Union
9:00 P.M. -All Networks-
State of the Union? Hmmm .... let's see: the stock market sucks, we're unemployed, on the verge of yet another war and more than half of us didn't vote for the man in charge. That pretty much sums things up.

Icon Wars

Fun with Shockwave.

SFW

27 January, 2003

Bwah

gatlouca: *nods* yup.
gatlouca: i unload once a week.
gatlouca: and it's costing me an arm and a leg.

Seriously, the comedy just writes itself around here.

Restraint

Bundchen Donating $150K to Fight Hunger

The joke is just too easy, folks.

Enough Already

"Didja see the big game last night?!"

No, no I didn't. Televised sports tend to bore the shit out of me. Now shut up about it, already. I already know that Tampa Bay won. I understand that this is a big thing because, well, they're Tampa Bay, and they tend to suck. A lot.

I don't need a fucking game analysis.

Policy & Procedure

This is what tedium is all about. A list of figures from the guidelines regarding Attorney General correspondance:

Figure 3: Executive Summary Sent Through the Deputy Attorney General
Figure 4: Executive Summary Sent Through the Deputy and Associate Attorney General (if applicable)
Figure 5: Action Memorandum for the Attorney General Through the Deputy Attorney General
Figure 6: Action Memorandum for the Attorney General Through the Deputy and the Associate Attorney General (if applicable)
Figure 7: Action Memorandum, page 2
Figure 8: Information Memorandum for the Attorney General Through the Deputy Attorney General
Figure 9: Information Memorandum for the Attorney General Through the Deputy and the Associate Attorney General
Figure 10: Memorandum for Heads of Department Components from the Attorney General
Figure 11: Memorandum for Specific Heads of Components
Figure 12: Letter from the Attorney General
Figure 13: Letter from the Attorney General, page 2
Figure 14: Weekly Report for the Attorney General
Figure 15: Weekly Report for the Attorney General, page 2
Figure 16: External Attorney General Order
Figure 17: Internal Attorney General Order

Although I do feel pity for the secretary administrative assistant who had to make all of the templates that these figures refer to.

Ah, L'amour

An amusing and amazingly poignant little film from Don Hertzfeldt, Ah, L'amour. [AVI, but doesn't appear to be DIVX]

Link shamelessly stolen from Dinkzone.

SFW

26 January, 2003

Ba$eball

Wanna be disgusted? Check out the 2003 MLB salary arbitration.

VHS vs. Betamax

One of the writers at The Guardian attempts to explain why VHS is better than Betamax. He claims that VHS is actually the superior technology, yet he forgets to actually prove this. Oh wait, there is this:

Indeed, the main thing that didn't fit was the idea was that Betamax was "technically superior". Standing in a shop at the time, there was absolutely no visible difference in picture quality, and some reviews had found that VHS's quality was superior.

Ah, well, yes. Since once guy who watched two tapes at a shop in the late 70s (I would presume) couldn't see the difference between VHS and Beta, then obviously there is none!

I'm sure someone else can take the time to explain why the writer is off his chump in regards to DAT technology.

Dead Puppies

Actually, no dead puppies. Just one dead asshole. Stories like this just make me smile.

24 January, 2003

Who Does He Think He Is...

Winona Ryder?

Zach Galligan, best known for his work in Gremlins and Gremlins 2, was arrested for steadling a Deep Purple CD:

"Gremlins" star Zach Galligan was arrested for investigation of shoplifting after he allegedly stole a disc by the heavy metal group Deep Purple from a Tower Records store.

My question is: Who the hell thinks Deep Purple is heavy metal?!

Coolest. Tags. Ever.

South Carolina does something interesting for a change: a state lawmaker has introduce a bill to start offering "Choose Death" license plates, in an effort to end the controversy over the "Choose Life" plates.

``My bill is simply a reaction to the abortionists,'' said State Rep. John Graham Altman. ``They're pro-choice. Well, they've got a choice - whether to buy (the tag) or not.''

Sadly, he's introduced the bill for al the wrong reasons, but hey, as long as there's a chance for "Choose Death" plates, I'm all for it.

And this is strange:

Peter Murphy, the Columbia attorney who represented Planned Parenthood, says Altman's bill misses the point. The case was about the First Amendment, he said, not abortion.

What with Bauhaus, Dali's Car and his solo career, when did he find time for law school?

23 January, 2003

McLoss

McDonald's posted its first ever loss.

The world's largest restaurant company posted a wider-than-expected net loss of $343.8 million, or 27 cents a share, in the fourth quarter, compared with a profit of $271.9 million, or 21 cents, in the year-earlier period.

The company had predicted a net loss of only 5 cents to 6 cents a share on Dec. 17.

Ha-ha! If you'll excuse me, I have to go dance about on Ray Kroc's grave, singing 'alelujah.

SPAM

I've secretly replaced the standard, government-issued wall calendar in my office, with one that glorifies the world of SPAM. Let's see if anyone notices.

SPAM Calendar

Jimify

For those of you in the DC area who missed Angel last night, it will be shown on Saturday, at 9PM. How nice of WBDC to pre-empt a show we've hardly had a chance to watch in the last two months, so they could show the Wizards lose...again. Yay.

I ended up at the movie theatre, and saw A Guy Thing. Overall, a pretty good movie. Not big on plot or character development, but pretty damn funny, without having to resort to fart jokes. Well, okay, one fart joke, but even that was fairly inventive.

The major drawback to the show was its poor production quality. It's entirely possible the problem was just with the projector lense, which was a few degrees off, so we missed the bottom foot or so of the movie. But damn, I saw the fucking boom mike in so many shots, it was just pathetic. I don't know, maybe a lot of movies have this problem, and it's just hidden by the top of the picture not being on screen. Not to mention how washed out the final outdoor scenes were. Of course, the director Chris Koch's other work includes Snow Day, "Malcolm in the Middle", and a couple of other TV shows. This might help to explain it.

Well worth seeing if you're looking for some mindless fun, and don't mind the uncomfortable romantic scenes involving Jason Lee.

Highlights:
  • An explanation of Jim-ification
  • The dance instructor, Harry
  • Spend-Mart and the underwear bin
  • James Brolin high on the wacky tobacky

22 January, 2003

Happy Anniversary

I got a card in the mail today, from Cats Are Tops, the organization from which I adopted Courage. Can you believe it's been an entire year since I got her?

And I think she's finally starting to calm down!

Happy Tree Friends

Happy Tree Friends on DVDSynopsis: The Internet's hottest cartoon comes to DVD! Who are the cutest, most cuddly cartoon characters around? The Happy Tree Friends, silly! They're so cute and adorable you'll want to squeeze them until their little eyes pop out! These 'lil critters are sure to tug at your heart and make you laugh so hard you'll break your funny bone!

21 January, 2003

Comparisons

Near. Far.

Up. Down.

Big. Small.

Breakin'

Hey kids, don't forget to pre-order Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Hickory Smoked

It's like Disney Land for smokers: the SmoCar

Fine Dining

Ten Things Your Restaurant Won't Tell You, from Smart Money. The Highlights:

Increasingly, restaurants of every scale are charging for services we once took for granted. The French Laundry, a four-star eatery in Napa Valley, charges customers $50 to open an outside bottle.

The fuck?!

"It's actually a great value," says the restaurant's sommelier, Bobby Stuckey. "We decant the wine, provide proper glasses for specific varietals, and those glasses wholesale for $70 apiece. The fee is fair for everyone."

Again: the fuck?! Seventy fucking dollars for a glass? Not a glass of something. A glass. What the hell is wrong with people? Why do they a) feel they need these special glasses and b) feel they need to spend an outrageous amount of money on them?

For instance, to justify using truffles in a dish's name, restaurants often will either spike cheaper mushrooms with truffle oil or put in a tiny amount of the luxe tubers with ordinary mushrooms.

I hate mushrooms. So all I can say is: ha ha!

Randall McCrea, a wine lover and chairman of the Houston chapter of the American Wine Society, anticipated a sumptuous dinner when he brought fellow oenophiles to one of Houston's top restaurants three years ago. Then he tasted the $45 syrah, ordered on the waiter's strong recommendation. "It was too young and too rough," remembers McCrea. "That wine ruined our dinner. It shouldn't have been opened for another five years."

Oh, well! Little Lord Fauntleroy doesn't like the wine! Shouldn't he have known that the wine was too young? I would suggest he bring a bottle of his own next time, but, well, we've already seen what happens.

Whingy motherfuckers. That forty-five dollars you spent on a bottle of "bad" wine could have fed someone for days. Or at least kept a wino licquored up for a week.

20 January, 2003

Poll (#1)

Given the chance, I would press the history eraser button.

(yes, yes. the jolly, candy-like button.)

Answer in comments.

19 January, 2003

Teenage Hormones

You know, I firmly believe that no matter what you do, teenagers are going to figure out sex. I mean, it's a pretty fucking strong biological urge, and it's quite hard to fight. Neanderthal boys didn't have their parents trying to teach them about "the birds and the bees" at an awkward age. They just did it. It's perfectly natural, and just plain hard to stop.

But the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors seems to think that suggestive questions on a student survey just might give those horny kids some ideas:

How old were you when you first had sex? Did you drink alcohol beforehand? Have you ever had oral sex?

Those are some of the proposed questions on a survey to be given to thousands of Fairfax County students this spring, along with more than 100 other questions on drug use, suicide, weight loss and family relationships.

But some members of the county Board of Supervisors, which is paying for the survey, want to drop the section on sex, saying it could give teenagers ideas. Others want to rephrase those questions so they don't suggest that such behavior is okay.

Although maybe I'm just giving the kids of today too much credit?

18 January, 2003

16 January, 2003

15 January, 2003

Captain Obvious

silverwingdc: Texas likes to kill people :/

This or That

This or That

1. Window shades or blinds? Blinds, except I hardly have windows.
2. Wall or desk calendar? Desk, page-a-day
3. Paint or wallpaper? Paint
4. Electric or gas stove? Gas range, convection oven
5. Carpeting or bare floors? Bare floors
6. One TV, or more than one? One
7. Leather or fabric sofa? Fabric
8. Eat meals in kitchen or dining room? In front of the TV
9. Fabric or vinyl shower curtain? Whatever
10. Your kitchen: well-equipped or bare bones? More crap than I can reasonably store

Say it with Cthulhu

Picutre of Cthulhu Valentine's cards

The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Meet Super Diamond, a Neil Diamond experience. And they're playing the 9:30 Club this Friday.

14 January, 2003

Sexx Laws

Wow. Welcome to the 20th century, Georgia.

*sob*

Buffy Witch to get Hitched

Okay:
1. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
2. Why must everyone use such cutesy, inane headlines like that?
3. I now hate everybody (except jenny). You'd think I would concentrate the hate on one person, but damnit, it's more fun to share the wealth.

Ugh

Attention ravers: Please wait for the e and whatever other drugs you're on to wear off before making a webpage.

Drinkin' a 40

The Life of a 40oz

Random Links

Seth Green alert: That 70's Show, Feb 26th

Touched By Angel finally goes away

The Bush administration give $95M to N. Korea to help them develop a nucular nuclear program? That would be ludicrous, considering the whole axis of evil thing. Or would it?

"No offense or anything, it's just, like, weird when someone's, like, 'So how does it feel?' " she murmurs. "You just shake someone's hand, sit down and spill your guts. And they just want to know so much and you're just, like, 'Why do you care?' "

Like, oh my god, Avril. You totally, like, suck. How about this poor bastard who had to interview her? Who the hell did he piss off in the bullpen to get stuck with that assignment?

And finally...a twenty minute version of SNL's "Weekend Update" to run against ABC's Superbowl halftime show. Twenty minutes of Tina Fey. Yesh!

13 January, 2003

I've Got a Secret

gatlouca: you know, i hope it's properly cheezy, because i secretly want to see it.
gatlouca: BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.

11 January, 2003

SNL

Watching Avril Levigne perform on SNL.

Just in case the point hasn't been made enough: she's not punk.

Whatever it is they're performing right now is about three steps away from Irish dirge. I'm trying very hard to figure out who exactly she's ripping off. Someone early- to mid-nineties. Cranberries. Yeah, that's the ticket.

*chortle*

At the end of the performance: "Tonight's musical guest has been brought to you by....Budweiser". Uh-huh. Maybe Budweiser should sponsor people who can actually drink their product.

And I don't just mean in the legal sense.

At least that's over. Now I can watch Weekend Update and Tina Fey. Yum.

Safari

Impressive. I was wondering why Safari was having an issue displaying "10 Most Recent Entries" over there on the left. It should be centered and in bold, as defined by my style sheet. Mozilla, other Gecko browsers and IE picked it up, but Safari refused to. After running the page through the W3C's HTML Validator, I learned why: The <caption> tag, according to XHTML strict standards, should be placed right after the opening <table> tag. Once I moved it up there, the validator was happy, and so was Safari.

Standards compliance makes me happy.

Golf

So true:

Zits for 11 Jan 2003

10 January, 2003

Brain Share

musgrove7: C[orey] F[eldman] is a whiny college type vegetarian
JGumby314: corey feldman? whiny? i'm shocked!
musgrove7: that is the same thing jen said exactly the same

Eerie, huh?

Arianna

Remember those stupid "I buy drugs, so I support terrorism" ads the Bush administration launched, not too long after 9/11? Hell, they're probably still being played in some places. They pretty much boil down to "since I smoked a joint, terrorists were able to blow up the WTC". Because as we all know, the majority of illegal drugs that kids use comes from Afghanistan. That's why there are so many billionaire drug lords in the country.

Americans for Fuel Efficient Cars remembers those commercials, and have produced a couple of their own. The twist? It's SUVs, not joints, that fund international terrorism.

I finally got a chance to hear a commercial on the radio this morning. Sadly, it wasn't in the station's rotation (wouldn't want Clear Channel or Infinity to piss off the automakers, would we?). In this case, it was played as part of a local station's wacky morning program's news segment. I was quite happy to hear it, and I hope that others get a chance to hear it, and maybe, just maybe, it'll make a few people think about their choice in cars. While I would have preferred more of an ecological angle to the messages, pretty much anything that points out the drawbacks of SUVs is a good thing in my book.

The wacky morning crew, however, were just incensed. "How dare they tell me not to buy an SUV! I'm going to go out and buy the biggest SUV I can now!"

Ooooh. Way to be controversial. Way to take a stand. I'm glad you support America's "right to consume". I wonder if that was meant to be the 11th amendment, but had to be dropped for space concerns?

Buffy Conference

May 28-30, 2004. I'm thinking road trip.

Also, MTSU is going to start offering an online, for-credit course in Buffy starting in May of '04. Damn.

Tingling Thighs

I really just wanted to use that as an entry title.

Comes from this article about hip-huggers.

09 January, 2003

secret diaries

You know that subtle homoeroticism present in Tolkein's Lord of the Ring books? Prepare to have it blown way out of proportion with the fellowship's secret diaries.

An excerpt from Sarumon:

DAY TWENTY

Have crossed orcs with goblin men in caverns below Isengard. V. tedious experience as orcs and goblin men most reluctant to breed, even with dinner and flowers. Next time will try something easier, such as breeding goblins and cheerleaders to create super-perky army that can travel by day and will not complain about pink uniforms.

Okay, not much homoeroticism there, just an amusing entry.

Thanks to Jenny for the link.

08 January, 2003

Hogwart's Community College

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings

Fight Club

And other enjoyable abridged scripts from The Editing Room.

damn kids

Driving in to work today, I made my usual trip up and down the dial of morning drive, trying to find something that will entertain me long enough to get to the office. I stumble onto the Howard Stern show, and he's talking about the Grammy nominations. What the hell, figure I'll listen for a bit.

He plays a clip of Avril Lavigne announcing the nominees for Best Rock Vocal performance. First out of her mouth, David Bowie. Which is pretty cool. I like Bowie.

But she said David Bow-ie.

As in, bough. And then add an "ee" sound to the end.

The man is a fucking legend. He pisses away more talent in his morning trip to the can than Ms. Lavigne will ever hope to have in her entire life. How hard is it to pronounce his damn name?!

Stupid kids.

07 January, 2003

SUVs

As if people need more of an incentive to buy SUVs: they can also get a big, fat tax break under the right circumstances.

The incentives were designed to give tax breaks to small business owners buying trucks for construction or farming. But the tax code was amended before the very largest class of SUVs -- those over 6,000 pounds, existed. The SUV's carry the classification "light truck" even though they are used almost exclusively as passenger vehicles.

Seriously, these things are fucking cars. They need to be regulated like cars. The only special treatment they should get is that drivers should have something along the lines of a class C license to operate them, since they're so fucking big. (The car or the driver? You decide.)

Joe Millionaire

Every single person who watched this show last night deserves to have their brains pulled out through their nose.

Kee-ripes. This country continues its slide toward IQ 0.

Argh

From an e-mail at work:

We would like to have the last line read:

Your results have been mailed anonymously to Webmaster xxxxx xxxxx; please contact her at 616-xxxx if you have any questions or concerns. If you would like to discuss the answers to any questions in this quiz, please contact xxx xxxxxxx at 616-xxxx.

Oh hells no. I'll write quizmaster. I'll write taskmaster. Hell, I've even write assmaster, if that's what you're into. But no fucking way am I using the term webmaster for such an obvious, idiotic, luddite such as yourself.

Yeah, I know, it's utterly pointless to bitch about this. It's not like you can take the name webmaster seriously anymore. Maybe at one point, you could feel reasonably secure in knowing that the complaint you just fired off to webmaster@somedomain.com would go to a competent, knowledgeable individual (or team), who would quickly fix whatever problem has cropped up.

But not so since the dial-up revolution. Every two-bit jerkass with a computer, AOL and five free megabytes of space calls himself a webmaster. Hey, guess what? Technically, you'd be a web designer. And even that is stretching the definition of the term more than spandex on Anna Nicole Smith.

What will be even more fun is finding a way to exclude the word, without pissing off too many people. Maybe I'll attempt to use the bureaucracy to my advantage, and claim that since we have a legitimate webmaster@usdoj.gov, there might be confusion if it showed up in other places. Sometimes the backwards-thinking management around here does have it's advantages.

03 January, 2003

We've Gone Past Liberace Gay!

A whole new designation of gay, courtesy of retroCRUSH's "The 100 Most Annoying Things of 2002":

Christopher Lowell If this guy were any more gay, he'd be married to Liza Minelli. Kudos are due, however, for bringing the stylish "General Zod" look back to the mainstream.

Lunch

Today's lunch brought to you by the letter YUM:

falafel.png

02 January, 2003

Happy New Year

Happy new year, and stuff. Personally, I'm most excited about the new year because I get to start using my new page-a-day calendar:

Edward Gorey page-a-day calendar

That and one of my Cthulhu plushies sit on my desk at work. They seem to be a good people deterrent.