Because that's our job, damnit!
Um, yeah. 5,000 years of civilization at the mercy of one man? If you say so.
Because that's our job, damnit!
Um, yeah. 5,000 years of civilization at the mercy of one man? If you say so.
Apparently, the WB can be pretty fucking stupid about scheduling. Take, for example, Angel. After hanging out on Sunday for a while, the execs decided that Angel needed to move to Wednesday. Okay, fine. Why keep it paired up with Charmed, when you can have it follow Dawson's Creek? (Or whatever the hell is on at 8PM)
Well, at least with February being sweeps, you'd think they'll show a whole bunch of Angel, maybe get it some ratings?
Ha! Puny human, your thinking is broken. You must think like network executives! (I'm convinced all network executives are actually clones of Phil Hartman's SNL character, "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer". "You're sensible schedules confuse me...I am just a simple caveman, thawed out and put in charge of programming at a medium-sized network.")
To quote the TVGal:
Oh yes, I see the logic in this. First, let's take a show that has been cancelled, and show a final episode in the middle of sweeps. Next, let's take a pilot, and also put it up during this crucial ratings period. All the while casting aside the viable show which needs to find its audience, since it has just been moved.
And just to make it clear to the asshats at the WB: You are morons. Don't fuck up one of the few shows I actually enjoy watching!
Some dumbass bought three "magic wands", that would supposedly erase negative thoughts. She paid $5,400 for them.
And then she was shocked to learn that they didn't really work.
No. No no no no no! The woman who was stupid enough to believe that these magic wands could work, deserves to lose that money. Stop protecting the stupid people!
Unless, of course, we're talking about one of these magic wands.
From the people who bring you Dr. Pepper and 7-Up: flavored milk. It's EXTREME milk!
Oh man, hold me back! Piña colada flavored milk? Why the hell haven't I been putting sliced of pineapple in my milk before?!
Oh yeah, because it would taste like CRAP!
It's milk, dumbass! It's supposed to be bland an boring. And really, what's wrong with just adding some Nesquik to your milk if you want something more exciting?
(Yes, aside from what's wrong with Nestlé in general.)
And it isn't bunnies.
So here's what we know:
Seems fairly clear cut. Everything that we know so far tells us that once Faith kicks it, one of the slayers-in-training (SIT) will take her place. Assuming, of course, there are any SITs at this point. And everything tells us that when Buffy dies...and stays dead...that's the end of that.
Or is it?
What if Buffy coming back permanently split her slayer lineage? Obviously, it wouldn't have been too noticeable between episodes 1.12 and 5.22, because Buffy was still alive for all of that. But suppose her second death brought forth another slayer?
But where is this extra slayer?
Good question. You would think that the Watchers' Council would have noticed another slayer pop up somewhere in the world. And that's true...if they were looking for one.
Think back to Buffy's "origins", as they were. Going by both the movie (which is never a terribly good idea) and, more importantly, episodes 2.21 and 2.22 (The Becoming), we get the impression that Buffy was actually the slayer for a while before anyone bothered to tell her. In both instances, her original watcher was trying desperately to find her, because he knew she had the power. It doesn't help that she wasn't in training like many other potential slayers, like Kendra, who was taken from her family at an early age.
And the Council, as knowledgeable as they were, never thought about the fact that the lineage could be split. So of course they never went around looking for another slayer once Buffy died the second time. Obviously, Faith is the "important" slayer, and they'll keep track of what happens to her.
So it is entirely possible that a new, third slayer has been walking around, full of slayery-goodness, without even knowing it. Hell, whomever was called after Buffy's second death could have been killed, and replaced...several times. It has been more than a year, and slayers don't exactly have a long shelf life.
Which leads me to this, from ep 7.04 (Help), which re-aired last night:
Hmmm...seems pretty strong for a skinny, awkward girl who seems to have issues even carrying herself around. And what do you know? Last week's show, Potential, reveals Amanda to be a SIT. However, she did fight the vampire as well as the Bringers with relative ease. Perhaps she is in fact the newest slayer.
But the witches council said there was a potential slayer in Sunnydale...not an actual slayer!
True. However, were they looking for a full-fledged slayer? Or just someone with the correct "signature"? Odds are they would have seen all of the potentials in the Summers house, as well as Buffy plus this new SIT/slayer.
Yeah, fairly far-fetched, but hey, it's not like Joss and crew haven't done anything far-fetched before. And really, with Buffy both dying and coming back twice, this opens up three slayer lines. But this might also shed some light on the freaky, inter-dimensional eye's cryptic talk about Buffy screwing things up by coming back.
Or I could be completely off my chump and grasping at straws. Amazing the sorts of things my brain will come up with while I'm at work.
The Oracle of Starbucks has spoken:
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Venti white chocolate mocha are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
So either I've been getting the wrong drink all this time, or I just don't know myself as well as I thought I did.
Zap2it's blurb about tonight's SOTU address:
"Didja see the big game last night?!"
No, no I didn't. Televised sports tend to bore the shit out of me. Now shut up about it, already. I already know that Tampa Bay won. I understand that this is a big thing because, well, they're Tampa Bay, and they tend to suck. A lot.
I don't need a fucking game analysis.
This is what tedium is all about. A list of figures from the guidelines regarding Attorney General correspondance:
Although I do feel pity for the secretary administrative assistant who had to make all of the templates that these figures refer to.
One of the writers at The Guardian attempts to explain why VHS is better than Betamax. He claims that VHS is actually the superior technology, yet he forgets to actually prove this. Oh wait, there is this:
Ah, well, yes. Since once guy who watched two tapes at a shop in the late 70s (I would presume) couldn't see the difference between VHS and Beta, then obviously there is none!
I'm sure someone else can take the time to explain why the writer is off his chump in regards to DAT technology.
My question is: Who the hell thinks Deep Purple is heavy metal?!
South Carolina does something interesting for a change: a state lawmaker has introduce a bill to start offering "Choose Death" license plates, in an effort to end the controversy over the "Choose Life" plates.
Sadly, he's introduced the bill for al the wrong reasons, but hey, as long as there's a chance for "Choose Death" plates, I'm all for it.
And this is strange:
What with Bauhaus, Dali's Car and his solo career, when did he find time for law school?
McDonald's posted its first ever loss.
Ha-ha! If you'll excuse me, I have to go dance about on Ray Kroc's grave, singing 'alelujah.
For those of you in the DC area who missed Angel last night, it will be shown on Saturday, at 9PM. How nice of WBDC to pre-empt a show we've hardly had a chance to watch in the last two months, so they could show the Wizards lose...again. Yay.
I ended up at the movie theatre, and saw A Guy Thing. Overall, a pretty good movie. Not big on plot or character development, but pretty damn funny, without having to resort to fart jokes. Well, okay, one fart joke, but even that was fairly inventive.
The major drawback to the show was its poor production quality. It's entirely possible the problem was just with the projector lense, which was a few degrees off, so we missed the bottom foot or so of the movie. But damn, I saw the fucking boom mike in so many shots, it was just pathetic. I don't know, maybe a lot of movies have this problem, and it's just hidden by the top of the picture not being on screen. Not to mention how washed out the final outdoor scenes were. Of course, the director Chris Koch's other work includes Snow Day, "Malcolm in the Middle", and a couple of other TV shows. This might help to explain it.
Well worth seeing if you're looking for some mindless fun, and don't mind the uncomfortable romantic scenes involving Jason Lee.
Synopsis: The Internet's hottest cartoon comes to DVD! Who are the cutest, most cuddly cartoon characters around? The Happy Tree Friends, silly! They're so cute and adorable you'll want to squeeze them until their little eyes pop out! These 'lil critters are sure to tug at your heart and make you laugh so hard you'll break your funny bone!
Ten Things Your Restaurant Won't Tell You, from Smart Money. The Highlights:
Again: the fuck?! Seventy fucking dollars for a glass? Not a glass of something. A glass. What the hell is wrong with people? Why do they a) feel they need these special glasses and b) feel they need to spend an outrageous amount of money on them?
I hate mushrooms. So all I can say is: ha ha!
Oh, well! Little Lord Fauntleroy doesn't like the wine! Shouldn't he have known that the wine was too young? I would suggest he bring a bottle of his own next time, but, well, we've already seen what happens.
Whingy motherfuckers. That forty-five dollars you spent on a bottle of "bad" wine could have fed someone for days. Or at least kept a wino licquored up for a week.
You know, I firmly believe that no matter what you do, teenagers are going to figure out sex. I mean, it's a pretty fucking strong biological urge, and it's quite hard to fight. Neanderthal boys didn't have their parents trying to teach them about "the birds and the bees" at an awkward age. They just did it. It's perfectly natural, and just plain hard to stop.
Although maybe I'm just giving the kids of today too much credit?
1. Window shades or blinds? Blinds, except I hardly have windows.
2. Wall or desk calendar? Desk, page-a-day
3. Paint or wallpaper? Paint
4. Electric or gas stove? Gas range, convection oven
5. Carpeting or bare floors? Bare floors
6. One TV, or more than one? One
7. Leather or fabric sofa? Fabric
8. Eat meals in kitchen or dining room? In front of the TV
9. Fabric or vinyl shower curtain? Whatever
10. Your kitchen: well-equipped or bare bones? More crap than I can reasonably store
Seth Green alert: That 70's Show, Feb 26th
The Bush administration give $95M to N. Korea to help them develop a nucular nuclear program? That would be ludicrous, considering the whole axis of evil thing. Or would it?
Like, oh my god, Avril. You totally, like, suck. How about this poor bastard who had to interview her? Who the hell did he piss off in the bullpen to get stuck with that assignment?
And finally...a twenty minute version of SNL's "Weekend Update" to run against ABC's Superbowl halftime show. Twenty minutes of Tina Fey. Yesh!
Watching Avril Levigne perform on SNL.
Just in case the point hasn't been made enough: she's not punk.
Whatever it is they're performing right now is about three steps away from Irish dirge. I'm trying very hard to figure out who exactly she's ripping off. Someone early- to mid-nineties. Cranberries. Yeah, that's the ticket.
At the end of the performance: "Tonight's musical guest has been brought to you by....Budweiser". Uh-huh. Maybe Budweiser should sponsor people who can actually drink their product.
And I don't just mean in the legal sense.
At least that's over. Now I can watch Weekend Update and Tina Fey. Yum.
Impressive. I was wondering why Safari was having an issue displaying "10 Most Recent Entries" over there on the left. It should be centered and in bold, as defined by my style sheet. Mozilla, other Gecko browsers and IE picked it up, but Safari refused to. After running the page through the W3C's HTML Validator, I learned why: The <caption> tag, according to XHTML strict standards, should be placed right after the opening <table> tag. Once I moved it up there, the validator was happy, and so was Safari.
Standards compliance makes me happy.
Remember those stupid "I buy drugs, so I support terrorism" ads the Bush administration launched, not too long after 9/11? Hell, they're probably still being played in some places. They pretty much boil down to "since I smoked a joint, terrorists were able to blow up the WTC". Because as we all know, the majority of illegal drugs that kids use comes from Afghanistan. That's why there are so many billionaire drug lords in the country.
Americans for Fuel Efficient Cars remembers those commercials, and have produced a couple of their own. The twist? It's SUVs, not joints, that fund international terrorism.
I finally got a chance to hear a commercial on the radio this morning. Sadly, it wasn't in the station's rotation (wouldn't want Clear Channel or Infinity to piss off the automakers, would we?). In this case, it was played as part of a local station's wacky morning program's news segment. I was quite happy to hear it, and I hope that others get a chance to hear it, and maybe, just maybe, it'll make a few people think about their choice in cars. While I would have preferred more of an ecological angle to the messages, pretty much anything that points out the drawbacks of SUVs is a good thing in my book.
The wacky morning crew, however, were just incensed. "How dare they tell me not to buy an SUV! I'm going to go out and buy the biggest SUV I can now!"
Ooooh. Way to be controversial. Way to take a stand. I'm glad you support America's "right to consume". I wonder if that was meant to be the 11th amendment, but had to be dropped for space concerns?
You know that subtle homoeroticism present in Tolkein's Lord of the Ring books? Prepare to have it blown way out of proportion with the fellowship's secret diaries.
An excerpt from Sarumon:
Okay, not much homoeroticism there, just an amusing entry.
Thanks to Jenny for the link.
Driving in to work today, I made my usual trip up and down the dial of morning drive, trying to find something that will entertain me long enough to get to the office. I stumble onto the Howard Stern show, and he's talking about the Grammy nominations. What the hell, figure I'll listen for a bit.
He plays a clip of Avril Lavigne announcing the nominees for Best Rock Vocal performance. First out of her mouth, David Bowie. Which is pretty cool. I like Bowie.
But she said David Bow-ie.
As in, bough. And then add an "ee" sound to the end.
The man is a fucking legend. He pisses away more talent in his morning trip to the can than Ms. Lavigne will ever hope to have in her entire life. How hard is it to pronounce his damn name?!
As if people need more of an incentive to buy SUVs: they can also get a big, fat tax break under the right circumstances.
Seriously, these things are fucking cars. They need to be regulated like cars. The only special treatment they should get is that drivers should have something along the lines of a class C license to operate them, since they're so fucking big. (The car or the driver? You decide.)
From an e-mail at work:
Oh hells no. I'll write quizmaster. I'll write taskmaster. Hell, I've even write assmaster, if that's what you're into. But no fucking way am I using the term webmaster for such an obvious, idiotic, luddite such as yourself.
Yeah, I know, it's utterly pointless to bitch about this. It's not like you can take the name webmaster seriously anymore. Maybe at one point, you could feel reasonably secure in knowing that the complaint you just fired off to email@example.com would go to a competent, knowledgeable individual (or team), who would quickly fix whatever problem has cropped up.
But not so since the dial-up revolution. Every two-bit jerkass with a computer, AOL and five free megabytes of space calls himself a webmaster. Hey, guess what? Technically, you'd be a web designer. And even that is stretching the definition of the term more than spandex on Anna Nicole Smith.
What will be even more fun is finding a way to exclude the word, without pissing off too many people. Maybe I'll attempt to use the bureaucracy to my advantage, and claim that since we have a legitimate firstname.lastname@example.org, there might be confusion if it showed up in other places. Sometimes the backwards-thinking management around here does have it's advantages.
A whole new designation of gay, courtesy of retroCRUSH's "The 100 Most Annoying Things of 2002":