29 January, 2003

Chocolate Cows

From the people who bring you Dr. Pepper and 7-Up: flavored milk. It's EXTREME milk!

Beginning in March, the company plans to sell milk in flavors such as chocolate caramel and pina colada. An announcement was expected Tuesday.

Oh man, hold me back! Piña colada flavored milk? Why the hell haven't I been putting sliced of pineapple in my milk before?!

Oh yeah, because it would taste like CRAP!

"What we heard from consumers is that the milk category today is pretty boring," said Andrew Springate, director of brand marketing for Dr Pepper/Seven Up Inc., based in this northern Dallas suburb.

It's milk, dumbass! It's supposed to be bland an boring. And really, what's wrong with just adding some Nesquik to your milk if you want something more exciting?

(Yes, aside from what's wrong with Nestlé in general.)

1 comment:

  1. I just can't believe the product's name is "Raging Cow." Is that somehow supposed to be the lactose equivalent of Red Bull? *blinks* What will their secret ingredient be.... extra high levels of BGH?