05 February, 2003

Don't Fuck With Fargo

North Dakota Found to be Harboring Nuclear Missiles.

"Satellite photos confirm that the North Dakotans have been quietly harboring an extensive nuclear-weapons program," said Blix, presenting his findings in a speech to the U.N. Security Council. "Alarmingly, this barely developed hinterland possesses the world's most technologically advanced weapons of mass destruction, capable of reaching targets all over the world."

That's right. Just keep making fun of the accent. See what happens, bitch!

"The South Dakotans, while a simple people themselves, are friendly, hospitable, and far more in touch with the outside world," Chirac said. "Many people, myself included, have passed through and seen the Badlands and Mount Rushmore. North Dakota, on the other hand, is a bleak, racially homogeneous state that few people ever enter or exit."

It's funny 'cause it's true!

1 comment:

  1. Tom Lehrer's 1965 commentary on the cold war...

    "First we got the bomb, and that was good,
    'cause we love peace and motherhood.
    Then Russia got the bomb, but that's okay,
    'cause the balance of power's maintained that way.Who's next?France got the bomb, but don't you grieve,
    'cause they're on our side (I believe).
    China got the bomb, but have no fears,
    'cause they can't wipe us out for at least five years.Who's next?Luxembourg is next to go,
    and who knows, maybe Monaco.
    We'll try to stay serene and calm
    when Alabama gets the bomb."