31 March, 2003

Have Some Water, Kid

I am here today to tell you about the most amazing product you will ever see, ladles and gentlemints! I bring to you today the miracle that is...the Crystal Clear Electron Water/Air Machine™

All rights reserved. Patents pending. Copyrights? Sure we got 'em.

But what does this wonder of the technological age do?!

What doesn't it do?

  • Cures scours
  • Heals potentially fatal pathologies of the cell
  • Puts an end to the humdrum experience of paralysis
  • Burns off unsightly fat
  • Promotes the growth of agricultural products, like corn

And much, much more!

Like what?

Let's listen to the testimony of R.G. from California: "A problem I had for 12 months stopped immediately!"

What was the problem? Too much money in their wallet?

Ha ha. Go away kid, you bother me.

Normally, I would give you a link to the stupid webpage I found, but I'll be damned if I'm going to give these people any credit, or any hits. If you're really interested, you can search Google...I'm sure it will show up.

P.S. Any one who actually buys into this stupid piece of crap product, and would even, for the merest microsecond, consider buying it, is a fucking moron. If you are that person, do the world a favor, and shoot yourself. Now. Guns are cheap and plentiful. You are an idiot. It's an easy equation, and you don't even need the arithmetic properties of oxygenated, high-memory water to help you figure it out.

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