13 April, 2003

POW, the Movie

According to the Washington Post, NBC is already working on a movie about Pvt. Jessica Lynch. Wow, that didn't take long. Let me see if I can summarize the movie for everybody:

  • Hi, I'm PFC Jessica Lynch. I'm from Palestine, WV.
  • Look, I'm in Iraq.
  • Hey, I've been captured by Iraqis after my group got lost.
  • Now I'm a prisoner in a hospital. Watch my tragic ordeal.
  • A sympathetic Iraqi sees my plight, crosses miles of desert, and informs the Americans of what's going on.
  • Yay! I've been rescued
  • Wow, I'm a hero.
  • I'm meeting President Bush.
  • Now I'm meeting with NBC executives about a movie about my ordeal.
  • Oh look, here I am, watching my exciting, made-for-TV movie.
  • I think I'm about to start a loop.

So, what will they do with the other 1 hour and 40 minutes?


  1. As a rather observant friend of mine pointed out, the real hero is the Iraqi who risks his life to save her.

  2. Eh, another Yankee Doodle special. It could be a lot worse. . .

    Imagine what MTV would do:"This is the story of seven strangers -- six Iraqi soldiers and one American POW -- together in one hospital. What happens when people stop being polite and start being real, on . . . The Real World: Nasiriyah"Or FOX:

    "We'll take two female American soldiers, sexually abuse them, break their legs, cause spinal damage, and then lower them into a pool full of leeches. Which one will get the million-dollar prize? Find out on a Very Special Fear Factor!"
    If _Hallmark Presents Portraits In Freedom: The Jessica Lynch Story_ is the worst TV to come out of all this, we'll be exceedingly lucky.