20 June, 2003


Driving to work today, I saw yet another ridiculous Hummer driving down the interstate. So that got me thinking:

Reasons to buy a Humvee:

  1. You have a large family, and also happen to live in a warzone. Possibly Israel, Palestine or Michigan.
  2. Sexual dysfunction.
  3. You always wanted to be in the armed forces, but could never quite make it. You probably also have a shirt that says "FBI" or "DEA". (If you've been to downtown Washington, DC, you know the shirts I'm talking about.)
  4. You were in the armed forces, and are trying to relieve your glory days. Give it up. Cherish your memories. And try living your current life.
  5. Your name is Ah-nold.
  6. It's an attempt to attract members of the appropriate sex:
    • Women - Sadly, there just aren't that many women who are actually impressed by your Hummer. The good news is, the small number that are, are also interested in things like football and drinking large quantities of beer. The bad news is, she'll probably make you the bitch in the relationship.
    • Men - The men who are impressed by your Hummer fall into the previous categories. You've been warned.

1 comment:

  1. You obviously haven't read this article yet!URL in case it gets cut...