03 July, 2003

Headlines

And now....headlines

Japan's Communists impose drinking ban. Japan. Communists. Huh?

US offers $25m for Saddam capture. I'll take "Hiding in a Cave" for $1000, Alex.

Guy selling flags, maybe?US unemployment rate leaps. C'mon, really. Would you hire this guy?

Kraft plans to cut snack sizes. Public plans to just eat more of them.

Solar System 'twin' found. "So are they the opposites of us?" "Oh no, they're exactly same...except they all wear hats."

Polish force heads for Iraq. So many jokes, so little taste.

Opium pacifies Afghan refugee children. And you thought sitting them in front of the TV was bad?

Indian mob burns 'witches'. Well, I certainly hope they tested the witches by floating them in water or weighing them against ducks before they carried out the execution.

Chilean blob could be octopus. Or possibly a blanc-mange from outer space. Be afraid people...be very afraid!

Galactic glitch for Star Wars game. NNNNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDSSSS!!!!

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