24 November, 2003

We're Fucked

Well, if we get a lot of snow up here in Northern Virginia this winter, we're pretty much fucked.

Of its $80 million snow removal budget for this winter, the Virginia Department of Transportation said $24 million is earmarked for suburban Washington, D.C. That is less than half the $48.6 million spent in northern Virginia last winter -- much of it on the massive President's Day storm that busted snow removal budgets throughout the region.

I should probably look into buying a new set of tires.


Bullet fired during KKK ceremony hits participant.

About 10 people, including two children, had gathered for the ceremony. The man who was being initiated was blindfolded, tied with a noose to a tree and shot with paintball guns as Freeman fired a pistol in the air to provide the sound of real gunfire, Sheriff Fred Phillips said.

A bullet struck Murr on the top of the head and exited at the bottom of his skull, authorities said.

Wow. I'm quite torn by all of this. On the one hand, a guy got shot, and has been critically injured. On the other...

Wait, what the fuck am I saying? I don't feel bad at all. Some racist cracker got shot up by one of his buddies? Boo-fucking-hoo. Let me water the crops with all of the tears, pouring from my eyes.

They Really Are Different

The rich really are different than you and me (unless you happen to be rich, naturally). Take, for instance, these two:

The couple plan to put Freya, who was born in September, in the gorilla enclosure at Howletts Zoo near Canterbury, Kent.

They will then let her be carried off by the female of the group.

Neither parent has any qualms about letting their daughter be taken off despite five keepers being killed by animals at Howletts and its sister park, Port Lympne, since 1980.

And here I thought Jacko dangling his kid over a balcony was bad. I mean, yeah, odds are the kid will be fine. These two have done the same thing with their other two children. But damn, after awhile, the odds in your favor of success start to fall. Do you really want to gamble with your child's life like that?

On the other hand, it might just mean one less rich child in the world to deal with.

I Call Them Fratboys

New gadget allows alcohol to be inhaled

Sausage, Chips and Beans

For some reason, we Americans look up the British, using them as a sort of yardstick of decorum and good taste. I ask you...why?

Mark McGowan's breakfast art

Link via Dave Barry's blog.

19 November, 2003

Mr. Universe

Wow. I suspect that if I were either gay or female, I would just be creaming my panties over this guy:
Mr. Universe

18 November, 2003

13 November, 2003

Say What?

Timberlake Fears for His Freedom:

Pop star Justin Timberlake fears his music will dramatically suffer if his record label BMG merges with giant firm Sony. The "Cry Me A River" hunk is worried the move will spell the end of his artistic freedom, and will link him with a group of light-weight acts instead of highly acclaimed R&B stars. A Sony insider tells Britain's Daily Star tabloid, "He's really worried about losing control of his music and being pushed back into straight pop. He wants reassurance he'll be left alone." But a pal of the singer is convinced Justin will battle against Sony's desire to turn him more mainstream. The friend adds, "When the merger happens, he doesn't want to be seen as a pop singer."

News flash: you are a pop singer. And a bad one, at that. Isn't this the same guy that does crappy music for the new McDonald's ad campaign? What fucking artistic freedom is he worried about?

07 November, 2003

Reality Sucks

This is now available for purchase:

DVD cover for the Anna Nicole Show

Feel free not to purchase it. Otherwise, I will have to kill you. In a most slow and painful manner.

Church Sign

Just something silly:

Church sign

The 80s

Another pointless quiz:

80s quiz

I got a 66.5. *sniff* I'm such an 80s poseur.

03 November, 2003

Theological Question

If God is so smart, why does the bible not warn us about JLo?


Things I don't need to know:

jgumby314: does anyone really care about their voiceovers?
[witness protection]: not really
[witness protection]: they are probably fake, like the bylines in playboy
jgumby314: heh
[witness protection]: I like bunnies
jgumby314: only the bylines are fake?
[witness protection]: and i like to think about guys getting off lookin a the magazine

Update: I had completely forgotten about the earlier part of our conversation, after I sent a link regarding legislation to ban mercury-filled thermometers in our state:

[witness protection]: well too many babies were getting broken glass & mercury enemas
jgumby314: damn stupid parents!
[witness protection]: damn babies with their super strong sphincters!
jgumby314: i had no idea
[witness protection]: you could choke a cat with one of those things
jgumby314: i'm not sure i want to know how you know this.
jgumby314: sicky