24 December, 2003

iPod

Great article about the iPod: The Guts of a New Machine.

Play

It's 'When Dylan Met Willow' on West End



The most famous fake orgasm in cinematic history will soon be recreated by former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" co-star Alyson Hannigan. The once-and-future Willow Rosenberg will star opposite Luke Perry in the London theatrical production of Rob Reiner's 1989 film "When Harry Met Sally."


Must. Buy. Ticket. To. London.

23 December, 2003

Hear the one about the corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines!

Project to drill into Earth fault - Lex Luther unavailable for comment.

Earthquake rocks California coast - even more so than Stryper? So it ain't so!

US takes terror alert in stride - Wait, what? Terror alert? Huh?

Virgin pilot told to stay in US - Yes, we've got sacrifices to make.

Murdoch wins satellite go-ahead - "Finally...crisp, clear digital pictures on my television"

Loose screw halts nuclear plant - D'oh!

Antibubbles made in Belgian beer - Yay! All of the other problems of the world have been solved.

Palestinian PM stands by roadmap - "Look, you try folding one of these things!"

Muslim group vows to flog any Somalis selling condoms - And you thought the Catholics were bad.

ALF: The Comeback Kid, er, Alien - Okay, my life is pretty damn boring and sad, but this is just ridiculous.

22 December, 2003

Sin Taxes

Gee, I can't possibly imagine why people think Californians are a bunch of nut jobs.



Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown says one way the state could generate more revenue and solve its budget woes is to levy taxes on unhealthy behaviors such as drinking and eating junk food.

In an interview Saturday with KCBS, Brown said one such tax would be "a nickel or maybe a dime on every drink of alcohol that is poured. That I think would generate a lot of money. Secondly and more difficult but equally helpful would be a tax based on the unhealthy quality of foods."


Look, can we just tax stupid people? That will generate plenty of money, and I think we should be reimbursed for having to deal with the things these people do.

19 December, 2003

Freedom Tower

Plans for the building to replace the WTC were unveiled today.



At the heart of the new design is the Freedom Tower which the architects said would be the world's tallest building.

As originally proposed by Mr Libeskind, it will be 1776 feet (541.4 metres) tall, to commemorate the date of the declaration of independence from Britain.

Libeskind's design which won the competition but did not satisfy SilversteinMr Childs has revised the design to include an unoccupied section at the top, housing broadcast antennae and windmills - which he said could generate 20% of the building's energy.


Thank god. I was worried they might attempt to build yet another monument to American excess. Good thing they restrained themselves.

Damn

Does this mean I won't be able to take advantage of the untold millions those e-mails keep offering?

18 December, 2003

Finally

Finally, I can make a decision regarding my choice for presidential candidate, because Madonna has come out in support of Wesley Clark. Phhhew. Where would I be without celebrities to inform me who I should vote for?



Mr Clark's spokesman Jamal Simmons said he was delighted with Madonna's support for the campaign.

"We have a superstar supporting a four-star," he joked, referring to Mr Clark's rank as a general.


Ugh. We're all doomed.

FUH2

Fuck you and your H2.

16 December, 2003

13 Hours

I would just like to say that 13 straight hours of The Lord of Rings is quite a challenge. Not quite climbing Mt. Everest or running a marathon sort of challenge. But a challenge none-the-less.

The Return of the King was quite good, even if the ending was a bit too shmaltzy. And I personally want to punch every person in the theatre who felt the need to cheer every five-fucking-minutes because something minor just happened.



Aragorn entered the scene...time to cheer.
Someone mounted a horse...time to cheer.
An orc was killed...time to cheer.
The New Line Cinema logo was displayed....time to cheer.


And so on, and so on. Certainly you can see how that would get irritating after the first half-hour of the movie.



But I'm sure others will have more in-depth and useful reviews of the movies. As I'm not a fanboy, I feel no need to pick apart every little discrepency compared to the books. I will, however, leave you with this: go see it, it's good.



And now...sleep!

11 December, 2003

Assassin

Wow, it's hard to believe just how close we came to losing JFK because of some demented assassin!

Oh wait.

Only in Texas

With all of the other problems of the state taken care of, the Texas House of Representatives can get worked up over the Christmas tree on the House floor.



"I think people can deduce for themselves about what it means to have a plastic Christmas tree from China in the Texas State House," said Lanny Dreesen, a spokesman for the Texas Christmas Tree Growers Association.


Oh yes. I think we can.

Least Essential

The Onion's AV Club has published The Least Essential Albums of 2003. My favorite review:



LEAST ESSENTIAL TRIBUTE ALBUM

Various Artists
The Acoustic Coffee House Presents: A Female Tribute To Creed
As someone named Bill Lefler strums away on an acoustic guitar with the care and cautious tempo of a first-year student, a parade of emotion-drained, seemingly identical singers with names like "Marmalade" and "Susannah B" work their way through the Creed catalog. Believe it or not, "With Arms Wide Open" and "Higher" can sound worse than they already do.

Oldies Radio

So I'm currently listening to the afternoon oldies show on BBC2 with Steve Wright. For some reason, they've gone from Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" to Oasis' "Wonderwall". Maybe I missed something, but how the hell are these songs oldies?

I certainly understand where part of the problem comes from: random listeners send in list of songs to play, and these people quite obviously don't understand that music produced within the last 10-12 years isn't exactly an oldie. Hell, they played Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" and some Duran Duran song in the set before this one, and I still don't consider them oldies. But surely the DJ has some kind of editorial control over what gets played?

Is society really moving this fast? Will I be listening to Britney Spears on the oldies show in a couple of years?

Now playing: Prince's "Purple Rain". The mind boggles.

Day in Pictures

From the BBC's the day in pictures:

South Korean models taste the new coffee - Cafe Ador - in Seoul
<insert bukkake joke here>

Dress Up

Check out some festive rats.

And since I'm already stealing the link from Dave Barry's blog, I might as well steal his trademark line: Festive Rats would make a good name for a rock band. Or maybe a choral group.

09 December, 2003

Earthquake

It's currently almost 6:30PM. I should be watching The Simpsons. Instead, my local FOX affiliate has their newscrew in full-effect, talking about....The Great Earthquake of 2003!

Oh wait, it's not that great. It was 4.5 on the Richter scale. And it happened in Richmond, more than 100 miles from here. And it happened THREE FUCKING HOURS AGO!!!! Please, shut the FUCK up about it, already. Stop trying to make the news happen. Let it go.

Thanks.

Mmm, Mmm Good

Maybe I'm missing something by not trying cannibalism?

Attention Map Enthusiasts:

A map of Springfield, USA

08 December, 2003

Potassium Iodide

"Oh, hey. We have potassium iodide pills....you know, just in case you want to take them. No big deal or anything. Just wanted to let you know that they're available."

Olympic Prostitution

Greek prostitutes march to save brothels during Olympics



Prostitutes -- mostly linked to state-sanctioned brothels -- have staged dozens of protests in recent months demanding that authorities back off enforcement of the 1999 law. They now promise to stage more demonstrations.

"We will not sit with our arms crossed," they shouted outside parliament.


Just the arms, huh?

Welcome to Thailand

Porn site attracts Thai government's ire to Britain

A Thai woman living in Britain faces possible extradition and imprisonment for displaying the Thai national flag on her pornographic Web site. The Web site also described Bangkok as a "city of sex", the Thai government has complained.

The use of the flag at the web site constituted an insult and tarnished the country's image, the Thai Prime Minister's office permanent secretary Yongyuth Sarasombat said, according to the Bangkok Post.


Tarnished the country's image? The word Thailand already conjures up images of underage sex slaves...how badly can this woman tarnish their image?

Cthulhu Tract

Who Will Be Eaten First?

Entry 755

When Christ talked about eating his body, I never knew it would be re-enacted like this.

07 December, 2003

Know Your Epithets

Ever been really mad at someone, and looking for just the right racial slur to yell at them? Look no further! The Racial Slur Database is just what you need.

Take the Welsh, for instance (not that anyone really wants to): sheep shagger, taffy, welsher and woolyback. Good to know that there are some for these fine people!

05 December, 2003

Stupid Driving Tricks

Breastfeeding driver stuns police



Catherine Donkers, 29, was nursing her baby daughter on an Ohio highway while driving at 65mph.

She said she did not stop because she was talking on the phone to her husband and taking notes on the steering wheel.


Let's see. Endangering the life of your child. Endangering your own life. Not paying attention while driving. And quite obviously, not in complete control of the car...knees do not equal steering appendages. What could she possibly say in defense of this?



"When I haven't done anything wrong, why would I... sacrifice my principles?" she told local radio, adding she felt her civil rights had been violated.


Oh yes, her civil rights. Where, exactly, is it listed as a right for someone to be a complete dumbass? I mean, I know we have more than our fair share of them, but I never knew it was codified.



More importantly, how fucking hard is it to just pull over to the side of the road for 5 minutes (or however long it takes) and feed your child?! So what if you're late to wherever you have to be. At least you're not driving like a maniac.

Happy Birfday

Jenny is, like, old and stuff! Not as old as rope, but old none-the-less!

Happy birthday, sweetmeats.

My Obsession

Even though I know that posting the following, without permission in any form, will most likely bring down the wrath of a rather nice Brit named Mil, I will do it anyway. For no other reason than to prove that there are others with a deeper, and somewhat more disturbing, fascination with Alyson Hannigan than myself.

And, as it's rather long, I'm going to put it in the "more...." section.

Counterfeit Terrorism

Intellectual property piracy is form of terrorism: WIPO chief



"Piracy is like terrorism today and it exists everywhere and it is a very dangerous phenomenon."

Idris described how he had heard of children dying after using counterfeit baby shampoo and warned of the potentially disastrous consequences of relying on machines that had been made using an illicitly duplicated model.

Last month, the World Health Organisation said that up to 25 percent of medicines consumed in developing nations were believed to be counterfeit or substandard, and it warned they could be useless, harmful or even deadly.


So, by the logic employed by WIPO, any company that produces a faulty product, or one that later turns out to be deadly, is committing an act of terrorism. Sweet. I think the anti-tobacco groups have a new tactic in their war against smoking. Or am I jumping too far with my thinking?



Link via bIPlog

04 December, 2003

My Porn Name

According to this site, my new porn name is Dirk Savage. I think I'll stick with my original porn name, Sam Pasadena, for now.

03 December, 2003

Petty, Much?

So, WMATA puts up an ad for a pro-marijuana group in some of their PSA space. Now, Rep. Ernest Istook of Okalahoma wants to punish them for doing so.



The ad showed a man carrying a tanned blonde in a short white dress, the two of them set against the azure sky of some tropical retreat. Under the picture appeared the declaration: "Enjoy better sex! Legalize and Tax Marijuana."


Whoa! Pretty controversial!



In a Nov. 10 letter to Jim Graham, chairman of the Metro board, Istook called the ad "shocking" and said the board had "exercised the poorest possible judgment, so I must assure that [Metro] will learn the proper lessons from this experience and will only accept appropriate ads in the future."


Istook was later heard saying: "Vee haf vays of makeen you behayf!"



"Metro is using taxpayer facilities to promote illegal activity," said Micah Swafford, Istook's press secretary. She said the congressman was unavailable for comment.


Illegal activity? This group is basically petitioning to change an existing law. Last I checked, we as Americans can do that sort of thing. Has it suddenty become illegal? Hell, they're doing so pretty fucking peacefully, at that. No massive demonstrations. No hippies smoking up in front of the National Monument. What's the problem with a poster?

Cannibal

German cannibal tells of fantasy

Mr Meiwes advertised on the internet for a well-built male prepared to be slaughtered and then consumed.

The victim, 43-year-old Bernd-Jurgen Brandes, answered the advert in March 2001.

Mr Meiwes told investigators he took Mr Brandes back to his home in Rotenburg, where Mr Brandes agreed to have his penis cut off, which Mr Meiwes then flambéed and served up to eat together.

Mmmm....now that's good blood sausage!

What is the Meatrix?

Just ask Moopheus.

01 December, 2003

Valentine's Day

Looking for that perfect gift to give your loved-one on Valentine's Day? Look no further.

Perhaps looking for a gift for that person you no longer love? Once again, look no further.

Check It Out

Hey everybody, check out my magic balls!

Also, it's Pope Innocent III. The action figure. I know what all of my friends are getting in their stockings this xmas. Those lucky bastards!