They're making headlines!
Project to drill into Earth fault - Lex Luther unavailable for comment.
Earthquake rocks California coast - even more so than Stryper? So it ain't so!
US takes terror alert in stride - Wait, what? Terror alert? Huh?
Virgin pilot told to stay in US - Yes, we've got sacrifices to make.
Murdoch wins satellite go-ahead - "Finally...crisp, clear digital pictures on my television"
Loose screw halts nuclear plant -
Antibubbles made in Belgian beer - Yay! All of the other problems of the world have been solved.
Palestinian PM stands by roadmap - "Look, you try folding one of these things!"
Muslim group vows to flog any Somalis selling condoms - And you thought the Catholics were bad.
ALF: The Comeback Kid, er, Alien - Okay, my life is pretty damn boring and sad, but this is just ridiculous.