30 January, 2004

Sebring, 1964

Cover of "Sebring, 1964"Title: Sebring, 1964
Subtitle: 12 Hour Grand Prix of Endurance, Sebring, Florida

28 January, 2004

Bern Ramey on Wine

Cover of "Bern Ramey on Wine&quote;Title: Bern Ramey on Wine
Subtitle: A Sound Education for the Greater Enjoyment of Wines

The Littlest Groom

Midget basketball is amusing. Midget wrestling is great. And Mexican-style, midget wrestling is just astounding. But I really think this is going too far:

The two-part special, scheduled to premiere Monday, Feb. 16, is essentially "The Bachelor" for little people. Viewers will meet Glen, a 23-year-old salesman who stands 4-foot-5. He'll go on a series of group and individual dates with 12 women -- also little people -- in hopes of finding love.

There is, of course, a twist. After Glen eliminates some of the women, the show will bring in women of normal height as well. The conclusion to the special, airing the week after the premiere, will find Glen narrowing his choices to two, then choosing the woman he likes best.

"The Littlest Groom" is from LMNO Productions, the people behind FOX's "Man vs. Beast" and the Travel Channel's "World's Best."

Cat Bites Dog

Trial over cat and dog fight starts today

"The key issue for us is we don't think that the cat scratching the dog is disability discrimination," Nelson said Monday. "The cat didn't prevent his access, it delayed his access."

That delay, the city attorney said, is akin to the type of delay one faces by going up a wheelchair ramp, instead of bounding up the stairs.

The actual damages ---- lost wages, trips to the vet and to Espinosa's doctor ---- tally up to about $325. Nelson said the city offered up two settlements, including one for $1,500, but Espinosa refused.

Why settle for $1500 when you can surely find some sucker jury that will award you $1.5M?

"The city sees it as a dog and cat fight," Espinosa said. "The crux of this issue isn't the dog and cat fight. That's two percent of this. The cat was a barrier to my access, and the city has circled the wagons around the cat."

And that's what is dogging Espinosa.

"The city is unrepentant," Espinosa said. "They are violating the rights of people allergic to cats."

Hmm, let's see. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, freedom of speech, freedom of religion...Nope, not seeing "freedom from allergens" anywhere in any of the documents that founded this nation.

Espinosa's throat tightens and his voice shakes when he recalls the details of the "mauling." He points out scars on Kimba's furry face.

Okay, no pun intended, but: why are people such pussies these days? A cat attacks your dog. Okay, fine, get over it. I agree that someone should have to pay for the vet bills, and any lost wages this man suffered. But the cat only scratched the dog's nose. Run for the hills, Ma Barker! Obviously this dog is no good to anyone anymore. He's crippled and disfigured and full of shame, because he was scratched by a cat.

Please. Might I suggest you take a page from Denis Leary's book?


See how easy that is? No one is discriminating against you, no one is trying to make your life a living hell. If people are making fun of you and your dog, it's because you're acting like a fucking simpleton and whinging to the world about something trivial. Give it a rest, take the money the city offered you, and try to be a productive member of society.


Surviving IKEA. Or possibly you could call it ZorKEA, but it's missing some of that text-adventure flare.

27 January, 2004

Advanced Conversational Chinese

No cover availableTitle: Advanced Conversational Chinese
Subtitle: Compiled by S. Y. Teng

Odd Jobs

You know, there just aren't that many jobs out there that involve touching cocks. At least, not that many you can tell your parents about:
Doctor doing something to a rooster's butt

25 January, 2004

Honor Roller

Underachievers' parents deny honor students

The school honor roll, a time-honored system for rewarding "A" students, has become an apparent source of embarrassment for some underachievers.

As a result, all Nashville schools have stopped posting honor rolls, and some are considering a ban on hanging good work in the hallways - at the advice of school lawyers.

Yep. One step closer to a Harrison Bergeron-like future.

23 January, 2004

What if I Wasn't Here!

Abortion Protest Draws Thousands

Abortion opponents from across the United States, bundled up in thick coats, scarves and hats in windy, chilly weather, rallied at the Ellipse south of the White House before marching past the Capitol to the Supreme Court building, holding signs that read "Face it -- abortion kills" and "What if your mother chose abortion?"

Other important philosophical questions that might be posed:

  • What if my mother had drunk a fifth of whiskey every day?
  • What if my mother had fallen from the top of a three-storey building?
  • What if dad had worn a condom at the time of my conception?
  • What if my grandfather had drowned as a small boy?
  • What if Columbus had actually figured out his ass from a hole in the ground and sailed to India, instead of stumbling on America?
  • Et cetera

Look, a lot of things happened before you were born that could have very easily made it so that you don't exist.

If my mother chose abortion, then I wouldn't be here. I would have never existed. And, quite frankly, I wouldn't even be aware of that fact. I just never would have been. It's not like aborted foetuses continue to exist in some kind of unworldly limbo for the rest of eternity, fully aware of the choice their mother made.

I think these people have watched It's a Wonderful Life one too many times. You are not George Bailey. Your non-existence would not cause all of Western society to crumble to the ground.

"Each of us has a special dignity, a place and purpose in this world," Bush said in his call shortly after the start of the noon rally, as people gathered around the loudspeakers on the grassy Ellipse to listen. "And in the Declaration of Independence, our founders stated this self-evident truth: The right to life does not come from government, it comes from the Creator of life." [Emphasis mine]

I would just like to say, I will not listen to a fucking sermon on the beauty of life and how we are endowed with it by our Creator, from the former governor of fucking TEXAS, a state that executes the mentally retarded! Do the anti-abortion supporters not see the hypocrsiy in that?

"Teens today are very smart," Gibbs said. "About one in three or four pregnancies ends in abortion in the United States. Those are not good odds. Kids are looking at the science and at the reality of who's not there and what could have been."

Right. Because you know, we just don't have enough people in this country or on this planet right now. Quick! Have more babies. The earth is dangerously underpopulated!

There's a saying that I think sums everything up quite well: Don't like abortions? Then don't have one. Amen!

Thanks to Jenny for the link

22 January, 2004


"Why Lucica, you look great! Did you lose weight?"
"I just lost 80 kilograms of unsitely growth."
"Ah. Well, I'll certainly miss your husband."

20 January, 2004

Duck Hunt

Trip With Cheney Puts Ethics Spotlight on Scalia (login required)

Vice President Dick Cheney and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia spent part of last week duck hunting together at a private camp in southern Louisiana just three weeks after the court agreed to take up the vice president's appeal in lawsuits over his handling of the administration's energy task force.


The pair arrived Jan. 5 on Gulfstream jets and were guests of Wallace Carline, the owner of Diamond Services Corp., an oil services company in Amelia, La. The Associated Press in Morgan City, La., reported the trip on the day the vice president and his entourage departed.

Let's see. You go duck hunting for the weekend with your friend of many years. No problem there. The hunting trip is sponsored by an oil services company. Again, no problem. But wait. You're a Supreme Court Justice, and you're getting ready to hear a case that involves your friend, the vice-president of the United States, and his dealings creating an energy policy, and who might have been involved in crafting it. Maybe, just possibly, there is the slightest chance of a problem. Miniscule, I mean. Hardly worth noting, I guess.

Thanks to Randy for the link.

Staying Healthy

Bush administration challenges science in obesity report

The WHO report recommends eating more fruits and vegetables and limiting fats and salt. It also suggests governments limit food advertising aimed at children and encourage their citizens to eat healthier foods. Taxes and subsidies could be used to reduce the price of healthy food and make them more attractive to consumers, the report said.

Shit, you mean they don't recommend that I eat more fatty cuts of beef and french fries? I knew I was doing something wrong with my diet!

Steiger said in his letter that the WHO report did not adequately address an individual's responsibility to balance one's diet with one's physical activities, and objected to singling out specific types of foods, such as those high in fat and sugar.

Yes, because heaven forfend that someone single out fat and sugar as causes of obesity. I mean really, what skimpy evidence could they possibly have that fat and sugar are related to obesity?

Link via the Big Picnic.

Taking Over

CBN takes over my website!

Play around with the website mixmaster.

16 January, 2004

Camera Angles

Talk about your unfortunate camera angles:
Jacko being frisked
Click for BBC story


Only the BBC would be cheeky enough to use the following picture when doing an article on New York City's new vice laws:
Sadly, the picture only shows up on the BBC homepage. They have much more serious photos in the actual article.

Family Guy

I am Brian
Which Family Guy character are you?
Take the Quiz!

14 January, 2004


Download Zork and relive those hours wasted playing a game with no graphics.

Unix Tools

Just a little plug for the fine folks working on GNU utitilies for Win32. Holy shit, but it is nice to finally have many of my favorite Unix commandline utilities available for the DOS prompt under Windows. And not running under Cygwin (which is a fine product, but more overhead than I really want).

Finally, Windows becomes much more useable. Kudos to you all.

08 January, 2004

Vampire Hunter

Lowe Returns as Vampire Hunter

Rob Lowe has saved his TV career thanks to Stephen King's horror classic Salem's Lot. The cult 1979 TV series starred David Soul as a vampire hunter and James Mason as a ghoul, and now Lowe is to play the bat stalker and Donald Sutherland his foe. Rutger Hauer and Babe star James Cromwell also appear in the new $12 million TV project. Lowe's latest TV role as a Washington DC lawyer in Lyon's Den has been a flop in America.

Oh, what very strange irony indeed.


If, like me, you keep a reading list on your site, and if, like me, you don't particularly kin to Amazon.com's policy of patenting everything but the link that gets you to their site, might I suggest you check out Campusi for all of your book linking needs? I have no idea if they are anywhere near as complete as Amazon, but they do seem to have a lot. And it looks as though an individual link is as simple as inserting an ISBN into a URL, such as http://www.campusi.com/isbn_0684855216.htm.

And if you have more extensive wants in regards to book cataloguing, there's always the Library of Congress.

07 January, 2004

The Blackadder Meets Harry Potter

Atkinson Becomes 'Potter' Baddie

Rowan Atkinson is trying to overcome the depression caused by the critical mauling of his last film by becoming a villain - he's playing Lord Voldemort in the new Harry Potter film. The British 48-year-old star had to check into a rehabilitation clinic in America after last year's Johnny English was slammed by critics - even though it did relatively good business at the box office. However, the rubber-faced funnyman has decided to expand his repertoire by signing up for the part of evil Voldemort in the upcoming The Goblet Of Fire, which is due for release in 2005. A source comments, "Its a very major career change for Rowan. He has been looking to spread his wings and branch out into other roles. "He doesn't want to be the nice guy or the rubber-faced chap forever." Atkinson's character has previously appeared only as a spirit, but is brought by to life by "death eaters" in the Goblet Of Fire, which will follow this year's third Potter installment, The Prisoner Of Azkaban.

06 January, 2004


Trespass laws for farms get tougher

Animal-rights activists are sneaking into barns to snap photos of penned-up pigs, freeing chickens from cages and vandalizing farm equipment.

In response, farm groups and rural law enforcement agencies launched a massive lobbyingeffort this year to push a bill through the Legislature to strengthen trespassing laws on farms and ranches. They did it in the name of homeland security.

Led by state Sen. Chuck Poochigian, a Fresno Republican who represents a giant swathof San Joaquin Valley farm country, supporters argued that animal rights groups could be infiltrated by terrorists trying to contaminate the nation's food supply.

Effective immediately, a trespasser on land or buildings where "cattle, goats, pigs, fowl or any other animal is being raised, bred, fed or held for the purpose of food for human consumption" can be fined $100 for a first offense and, for a second offense, up to $1,000 and sentenced to six months in jail.

Certainly, I can see the sense in not letting terrorists poison our nation's food supply. Therefore, I think it only makes sense to require all workers in these farms, slaughterhouses and other assorted food-production facilities be cleared by some government agency. Possibly the FBI or DHS?

It's just as likely that terrorists would attempt to infilitrate this industry by posing as honest workers. In fact, I think it would be even more likely that they would do so. Sure, you could attempt to break into a farm and slip a biological contaminent into the feed, but wouldn't it be better to work at that farm, earn a position of trust, and then introduce the poison? Odds are, you would be more effective, because you know exactly where the feed is going, and could make sure it is most effectively distributed. It's not like every act of terrorism has to happen right now. As an added bonus, you get to keep whatever wages you've earned.

Random acts are great, but the fact is, well-organized sabotage from the inside is the best way to bring down an institution. There's a reason companies need to worry more about the hackers in their employ than the script-kiddies trying to break in through the firewall.

Slut Queens

Family Buys Movie On Video But Gets Porno Flick Instead

On New Year's Eve, Tomika Barnett's family planned to ring in the new year watching videos she bought at a local pawn shop. But when one of her children put "Independence Day" in their VCR, an "X" rated movie appeared on the screen. The New Albany woman called WAVE 3 News looking for answers. Our Craig Hoffman has more.

Myself, I would've gone down to the pawn shop in question and talked with the manager/owner to get my answers. Funny how I don't automatically think to call a news outlet when something trivial like this happens.

"They turn their head at kissing scenes on it. They're honor roll students. They don't see stuff like that," said Barnett, the mother of three.

This is true. Rarely do honor-roll students see anything even resembling kissing, much less nudity or sex. Of course, the fact that the oldest child is 12 might also play a part in this.

05 January, 2004

Army of God

Thanks be to God and the Christian Terrorist

The federal department of justice's "war on terrorism" will not only be waged against the Muslims nations but also Christian terrorists in our homeland. One might ask what do the Muslims and Christians have in common? The Holy Bible and Koran both condemn baby murder and homosexuality as capital crimes. The radical elements of both religions are willing to do more than talk to resist the societal promotion of both these capital crimes. The foreign terrorists (Muslim) resist the imposition of the United States/United Nations charter, which promotes "population control"(abortion) and "diversity"(homosexuality), while the Christian/domestic terrorist simply resists the "law" of the land, which promotes and often subsidizes abortion and homosexuality.

Dude, wait. The government is subsidizing abortion and homosexuality? Shit. I can't do much on the abortion side, but maybe I should develop an interest in the cock for some of that sweet, sweet federal money!



Yes, that's pork. With a 'k'.

1 AM

Finally, music television I would watch.

Police Auction

Oh sure, the laws regarding seizures conducted by the police might be a bit draconian, but look at all the great stuff you can bid on!

And if you need more proof that criminals aren't too bright, check out all of the Limp Bizkit CDs up for auction.