28 January, 2004

Cat Bites Dog

Trial over cat and dog fight starts today

"The key issue for us is we don't think that the cat scratching the dog is disability discrimination," Nelson said Monday. "The cat didn't prevent his access, it delayed his access."

That delay, the city attorney said, is akin to the type of delay one faces by going up a wheelchair ramp, instead of bounding up the stairs.

The actual damages ---- lost wages, trips to the vet and to Espinosa's doctor ---- tally up to about $325. Nelson said the city offered up two settlements, including one for $1,500, but Espinosa refused.

Why settle for $1500 when you can surely find some sucker jury that will award you $1.5M?

"The city sees it as a dog and cat fight," Espinosa said. "The crux of this issue isn't the dog and cat fight. That's two percent of this. The cat was a barrier to my access, and the city has circled the wagons around the cat."

And that's what is dogging Espinosa.

"The city is unrepentant," Espinosa said. "They are violating the rights of people allergic to cats."

Hmm, let's see. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, freedom of speech, freedom of religion...Nope, not seeing "freedom from allergens" anywhere in any of the documents that founded this nation.

Espinosa's throat tightens and his voice shakes when he recalls the details of the "mauling." He points out scars on Kimba's furry face.

Okay, no pun intended, but: why are people such pussies these days? A cat attacks your dog. Okay, fine, get over it. I agree that someone should have to pay for the vet bills, and any lost wages this man suffered. But the cat only scratched the dog's nose. Run for the hills, Ma Barker! Obviously this dog is no good to anyone anymore. He's crippled and disfigured and full of shame, because he was scratched by a cat.

Please. Might I suggest you take a page from Denis Leary's book?


See how easy that is? No one is discriminating against you, no one is trying to make your life a living hell. If people are making fun of you and your dog, it's because you're acting like a fucking simpleton and whinging to the world about something trivial. Give it a rest, take the money the city offered you, and try to be a productive member of society.

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