30 June, 2004

Movie List

I don't know why, but I enjoy these damn "lists of movies" that find their way around the internet. The following I grabbed from Blog on the Edge of Forever.

29 June, 2004


Michael Moore's new film, Fahrenheit 9/11, opened over the weekend to be the biggest box-office draw, at least for a documentary. It brought up some tough questions, and really shed some light into what has been going on in the upper-echelons of political society in the last four years.

Of course, I went and saw Dodgeball, instead. And I don't regret my decision one bit.

Sad, Sad, Sad

Y'know, I really hope this a joke site. 'Cos if its not, someone really needs to spend some time with a mental-health professional.

25 June, 2004

I Love Movies

You know who else loves movies? Doug Benson. It says so right here.

So if you like movies, but don't like the hassle of actually going to or watching them, why not check out Mr. Benson's movie reviews. They're short and to-the-point. Perfect for those of us with short atten

Hey, check out David Cross' strange obsession with Jim Belushi. I have no idea what it means, but it can't be good.

24 June, 2004

The Moonies Scare Me

For that matter, most religions scare me. Lots of weird rituals and chants, plus rules. Silly, silly rules. But the Moonies (or, the Unification Church), is just out there. A couple of paragraphs to summarize what's going on with the church, and the Rev. Moon himself:

Coming from Moon that made perfect sense, because he already believes all religions will come together -- under him. "The separation between religion and politics," he has observed on many occasions, "is what Satan likes most." His gospel: Jesus failed because he never attained worldly power. Moon will succeed, he says, by purifying our sex-corrupted culture, and that includes cleaning up gays ("dung-eating dogs," as he calls them) and American women ("a line of prostitutes"). Jews had better repent, too. (Moon claims that the Holocaust was payback for the crucifixion of Christ: "Through the principle of indemnity, Hitler killed 6 million Jews.") His solution is a world theocracy that will enforce proper sexual habits in order to bring about heaven on earth.

"A line of prostitutes"? Obviously, this guy hasn't met the women I have.

What sort of proper sexual habits? According to Moon, in order to restore blood purity, very specific practices are prescribed. Sex before marriage is out of the question, and when sexual consummation does happen, it must adhere to very specific instructions. First, a photograph of Moon must be nearby, so that everything occurs under the reverend's watchful eye. After two nights of woman-on-top sex, the couple reverse positions, whereupon the man, according to Moon, restores dominion over Eve, via the proper missionary position. Then, according to the instructions attributed to the U.C.'s American Blessed Family Department, "after the act of love, both spouses should wipe their sexual areas with the Holy Handkerchief" --referring to the church-supplied washcloth -- which must "be kept individually labeled and should never be laundered or mixed up."

Okay, first off, the picture of Moon? Creepy.
And as for the "Holy Handkerchief" (of Antioch?), well...raise your hand if ewwww!

Now, obviously, two paragraphs do not a religion make, but they certainly do point to some freaky-deaky shit going on that I don't want to have to deal with. Or have my tax-dollars fund.

All of this from Bad Moon on the Rise, a companion piece to Salon's article about Moon being crowned "the King of Peace" in the Senate building.

22 June, 2004

Election Time Is Here, So Drink A Can Of Beer!

Free beer if you register to vote

Here's a way to get young people registered to vote: Give them free beer.

That's the plan at today's East End Festival. Monroe County Democrats have teamed up with High Falls Brewery to offer two free 2-ounce beers to those who register to vote at the festival.


"I think there are other ways to motivate people to vote other than give them alcohol," said Elaine Milton, director of the chemical dependency clinic at the Family Service of Rochester Inc.

Whoa, yeah. That would sure be a nasty alcohol addiction to deal with. "Aw, man, I need a beer. Aren't there any elections around here? Even a primary will do!"

Enjoy It, Loudon County

Finally, people are starting to give up on the idea of building a baseball stadium in Arlington, and have come up with a better idea: build it in Loudon County. Yesh!

Not that I think we even need a baseball team and stadium, but if they're going to build one in NoVA, any place far away from me is fine. The thought of traffic in Arlington, with even more people attempting to stream in from I-66 and I-395 on a regular basis, just chills me to the bone. Sure, I can avoid most of it, but still, plenty would spill out onto the side roads. (And if you live in the area, you know how I-66 slows to crawl right around the exits to Rt 29 and Westmoreland for no good reason, so just imagine a few thousand more people jamming up that point.)

Of course, I do have to question the naivete of the people in this project with their new hope of Loudon/Dulles:

The potential impact on Northern Virginia's clogged roads remained unclear. Curren's analysis showed that a typical 40-minute commute at 5:30 p.m. from Tysons Corner to Ashburn along the Dulles Toll Road would increase by two to four minutes on a game night, he said. The key congestion challenge, he said, is having enough entrances to the stadium to keep fans' cars from plugging roads outside the development.

Ha ha ha. "Two or four minutes". How cute. I think the people doing the studies should be forced to drive from Tysons to Dulles every day, during rush hour, if the stadium is built. Just so they can accumulate empirical evidence of this change.

19 June, 2004

Here Comes Something Meteor

Surprise Meteor Shower Possible in June:

Meteor enthusiasts will likely be out in force in the coming nights, hoping to catch a glimpse of an on-again, off-again meteor display. Special emphasis will be placed on two specific nights: June 22-23 and June 26-27.

Well, shit. Now they've ruined the surprise. And after someone worked so hard on planning it...

Ironically, the month of June is usually not noteworthy for any major meteor showers.

Yup. Irony can be pretty ironic.

17 June, 2004

zombies are eating my bRAin

I dont' know where tHEy came from, but they crassed through my dore only 5ive minutes ago. i fouht valiently, but to no avAIL

now, they eat my bra



at leest it dosnt hrt


08 June, 2004

She Ain't No Cheap Date

VH1's Best Week Ever has a blog. So when you can't wait until 11PM on Friday night, you can get up-to-date on the latest celebrity news.

And with that, we learn that you can't buy Avril Lavigne's love...at least not with hamburgers.

Cheap-Ass Lemonade

How to make cheap-ass lemonade, when you don't have much in your kitchen:

  1. Heat up 1 cup of water in the microwave
  2. Add sugar to hot water. However, realize you don't have any normal sugar. So add powdered sugar.
  3. Continue mixing and adding sugar, until unbearably sweet syrup forms
  4. Empty a cup of lemon juice into the mixture.
  5. Stir

Add ice, and enjoy.

Oh wait, add vodka. Lots of vodka. That helps, as well.


All of the hullabaloo over the renaming of National Airport (DCA), and President Reagan's body will be flown into Andrews AFB.

I Support Terrorism

By smoking Marlboro reds.

The lucrative trafficking of cigarettes, known as cigarette diversion, is a simple scheme but difficult to stop, law enforcement officials say. The traffickers purchase a large volume of cigarettes in states where the tax is low, such as Virginia and North Carolina, transport them up Interstate 95 to states such as Maryland, New York, Pennsylvania and New Jersey and then sell them at a discount without paying the higher cigarette taxes in those states.

Remember a simpler time, when smoking cigarettes only meant killing yourself, and those around you?