19 July, 2004

Mark Your Calendars

World Destruction Begins Sept. 29

That's the chilling news from E.T. expert Dr. Terry Johnson, who claims various conglomerations of alien races are conspiring to destroy planet Earth on that day -- with the help of a few volcanoes and earthquakes.

Johnson says an earthquake is scheduled to take place in Guadalajara, Mexico, and when the "crest" of the quake happens, a giant spacecraft will slam into the fault line like a "kamikaze" fighter and start a global chain reaction that will result in the ultimate destruction of the planet.

He claims the E.T.s want to destroy Earth because, in his words, "They're afraid of human creativity and our unique ways of problem solving."

Some humans will be saved, and Johnson says many are already being abducted to other planets to be used as super computers.

Now, let me get this straight: several alien cultures, who have quite obviously mastered interstellar travel and overcome the whole faster-than-light issue when traveling long distances, are afraid of humans, because of our "creativity" and "problem solving"? We, as a species, who have only managed to make it to the moon a few times, and spend decades waiting for satellites to get to the outer edges of the solar system? Oh yeah, be afraid ET! We're coming to kick your ass...if you'll just wait a few thousand years for us to get there.

1 comment:

  1. Well, at least we don't have to worry about Florida ruining the election again!