28 December, 2005

Electroshock for all

I never knew that psychiatrists got to administer so many electroshocks.

Actress Anne Archer delivers the startling news that at least 100,000 electroshocks are administered annually. The CCHR press release further informs that "psychiatrists kill up to 10,000 people" annually with their use of electroshock, which works out to one in ten.

Actor Danny Masterson explains that anyone who disagrees with them on the subject is "completely misinformed."

And little did I know that Hollywood celebrities are such founts of medical knowledge.

23 December, 2005

15 December, 2005

Weird Stone House

Geocache: 2
Geocaching waypoint: GC81C0

Well, Randy and I braved the cold and the snow on Sunday and went out hiking in Fountainhead Park. Definitely more of a challenge when you've got a couple of inches of snow that have hardened over after a couple of days of thaw and freeze. Luckily, after reading the description of where the geocache was located, I was fairly confident I knew what to look for. And really, we only made one major error starting out, which added about a mile to our total distance. But hey, it's not like we haven't been out there hiking before, so no big loss.

Randy gets credit for finding the actual container, hiding in part of a foundation of the old house. I currently have the Old Glory travel bug (TBKP8K) in my possession, and hopefully we'll get up to Maryland soon and leave it in a cache up there.

You can see our route here. Pictures will go up as soon as I can find the USB cable for my camera.

08 December, 2005

Under the Bridge in Donaldson Run

Geocache: 1
Geocaching waypoint: GCM2DV

So, this was my very first geocache. I went out hikingwalking with Jenny and Snuffy, and 6.1 miles later, with the aid of my new Garmin Etrex Legend, I had found the plastic bowl underneath a bridge that was the geocache. I've got to say, it was tons of fun, although a little bit frustrating to pinpoint the actual location of the cache.

Right now, the plan is for Randy and I to do some hiking along Bull Run, find the Weird Stone House, and then take the travel bug elsewhere. We'll see what happens with this one.

Update: See our track

29 November, 2005

Big Needles

"You're such a fat ass, Cartman, that when you walk down the street, people go 'God damn it, that is a big fat ass!'"

Also: coolest. statues. ever. Although Randy had this to say about them:

why bosnia
why not in DC
we love bruce lee too!
or even better in fairfax
i would light a candle there every night

15 October, 2005

Nature Abhors a Vaccum

Specifically, the vacuum that is two empty shelves on my new iron folding CD racks! So naturally, I had to head down to the CD Cellar this morning and buy some more CDs. Today's haul:

  • The Bloodhound Gang - One Fierce Beercoaster

  • Kaiser Chiefs - Employment

  • Bauhaus - Burning from the Inside

  • Soundrack - Trainspotting (#2)

  • The Cure - Faith

  • Various Artists - Pleasant Smell: 12 Rounds

And yes, I realize it's an addiction.

I really don't care.

10 October, 2005

Birth Procedures

In an effort to surpass Catholicism on the list of Religions that try to completely control their adherants, Scientology apparently has procedures for the birthing of babies.

Tom and Katie are likely to follow the church's "silent birth" guidelines during delivery, which means no music and no talking during the birth, which also means no screaming during the pains of labor.

Well, I guess it was pretty easy for ol' L. Ron not to scream during the pains of labor. And if he could do it, so should everybody else who follows him. Here's hoping that Tom can keep control during those contractions.

07 October, 2005

Google Reader

Google Reader is available. It certainly has a pretty, and new, interface. Not quite sure if it's going to replace Bloglines as my newsreader of choice, though. Guess only time will tell.

02 October, 2005


Well, having nothing better to do with my time than re-enter all of my books into a database, I have started entering all of my books into yet another database at LibraryThing.

21 September, 2005

Serenity, now

Okay, okay. Try to keep this spoiler free. Let's see...

Just got back from a screening of Serenity, and HOLY SHIT YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW...

No, no. Calm. You're blowing it. Gonna ruin the whole movie for everybody else.


Anyways, to keep this short and simple: Serenity, good. Beer, foamy. Go, see it. It does a wonderful job of expanding on the existing storylines from the television series, but also stands on its own for those who have never watched an episode. (Well, hopefully...I'm fully immersed in the series, so I can't really offer an objective opinion on that last part.)

And yes, some huge things happen. Really big. So big that if I were to even leak a hint of them, you would curse me. You'll be sitting there in the theatre, your mouth agape, realising "yes, James is right...that's some major shit...I'm glad he didn't spoil it for me", like so many other people might callously do.

06 September, 2005

Chocolate Bombs

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: don't accept chocolates from Nazis

It Has Lyrics

Not only does the theme to Star Trek have lyrics (something I remember reading about before, but never really cared enough to look up), but William Shatner will be singing them during the next Emmy telecast:

Finally, Shatner will perform the theme from "Star Trek" with opera star Frederica von Stade. The song actually has lyrics -- penned by series creator Gene Roddenberry -- in addition to Shatner's "final frontier" narration.

I don't suppose there's anyway we could get Bill Murray singing about Star Wars instead?


Shows I need to remember to add to the DVR's recording schedule:

  • Arrested Development (FOX)

  • My Name is Earl (NBC)

  • The Night Stalker (ABC)

  • Everybody Hates Chris (UPN)

  • The Colbert Report (COM)

This has been a purely informational post to help me remember something. Thank you for playing along.

02 September, 2005

"Russ Potts is an angry, bitter, spiteful man,"

Potts Wages Final Campaign with a Vengeance

But Potts derides Kilgore's plan to subject all tax increases to a referendum as a craven abdication of duty, and that goes for his idea to establish regional transportation authorities and require voters to OK new taxes for any projects they would launch.

"No. 1, 'referendum' is spelled 'coward' _ C-O-W-A-R-D," Potts said, sneering in disgust.

"The referendum is Tuesday, Nov. 8. That's when the next governor's elected," he said.

01 August, 2005

Aeon Flux

Theron re-designs skimpy superheroine costume

Hollywood star Charlize Theron forced movie bosses to change her costume design for forthcoming movie Aeon Flux - after deciding her character's original outfit was too revealing.

Yeah, Charlize...that's just how the outfit is. Here, look:

├Žeon Flux

If you can't handle it, maybe someone else should've been cast.

(This picture came up during a Google image search. Kudos to the young lady. Very nicely done costume.)

A Compassionate Mime

Leave it to Bush, episode 3.

Because you just can't get enough cowbell Christopher Walken.

29 July, 2005

Album Refund

Refund Possible If You Bought Evanescence's 'Anywhere But Home'

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) - People who bought Evanescence's album "Anywhere But Home" at any Maryland Wal-Mart store last year would be entitled to a refund from Sony BMG Music Entertainment under a proposed settlement in a lawsuit that claims the album contained explicit lyrics but didn't carry a parental advisory sticker.

Here I was, hoping that someone had finally wised up and started allowing refunds for albums that suck.

12 July, 2005

Bus firm takes car sharers to court

Bus firm takes car sharers to court

Instead a group of French cleaning ladies who organised a car-sharing scheme to get to work are being taken to court by a coach company which accuses them of "an act of unfair and parasitical competition".

Buh. Juh. Wha. Huh?

It's like someone in France said "You know what? There are a lot of stupid and frivolous lawsuits going on in America. We must find a way to top them all."

And to you, monsieur or madame French-person, I tip my hat.

Woman defies driving ban

Woman defies driving ban, saves husband?

RIYADH (Reuters) - A Saudi woman defied a ban on women driving to get her husband urgent medical help after he collapsed at the wheel, Al-Watan newspaper said Tuesday.

It said the couple was driving from the eastern city of Dammam to the capital Riyadh Sunday night when the man started having trouble breathing and lost consciousness.

His wife, who had learned to drive on trips to the desert, jumped behind the wheel and drove 10 miles down the motorway to a gas station where he was treated.

"Thanks for saving my life, honey. But I'm afraid we're going to have to stone you now. Nothing personal."

11 July, 2005

The NY Dog

The New York Dog Magazine.

Let me just repeat that. The New York Dog Magazine. With obituaries!

I don't care how cool you think NYC is...this magazine negates it ALL.

Skateboarder jumps China's Great Wall

Great Wall gap!

Now all he needs is to spell S-K-A-T-E and he'll be able to move on to the next city.

30 June, 2005


Damnit, not only do Europeans make better beer than us (for the most part), but they make better beer commercials, too.

29 June, 2005

The Gay White North

Canada's House of Commons votes to legalise same-sex marriage. Now, listening to the religious leaders here in America, I'm fully expecting the wrath of god to hit Canada in full-force, assuming their Senate approves the legislation. Will we be able to view the fireworks from our northern border states? Should they start setting up an asbestos wall of some sort to protect themselves?

The legislation applies to civic weddings at public places like city halls and courthouses. No religious groups will be forced to sanctify same-sex marriages if they don't want to.

There, see. It's like what I've been saying all along: The government should only concern itself with civil unions for whatever secular purposes it might serve, while marriage itself should be handled by churches for spiritual reasons. Then maybe everyone can shut the fuck up about it.

22 June, 2005

There is this theory

There is this theory of the moebius...a twist in the fabric of space where time becomes a loop.

15 June, 2005


"I guess it'll always be a monument to Grandma's secret drinking problem."



Civ IV Addicted?

No more turns

Latin, I love it. I love Latin. I love the sound. I love all the Xs. I love that JLo. She's Latin. She's got what all the kids are calling today...She's got that much back. Or, mucho espalda, as they say in esapañol.

13 June, 2005

Picture Pages

Finally got around to trying out some image management systems for my website, and I've settled on Gallery. Looks pretty good so far. Fairly easy to use, and it's nice having all of my images finally grouped.

Although it sucks trying to caption so many photos.

Anyways, you can see them here.

Surely, you can't be serious?

I am. And don't call me Shirley.

10 June, 2005

09 June, 2005

Face Reader

Following Randy's lead, I checked out Face Analyzer.

Face analysis

Much like Randy's, my analysis is a bit questionable. 53% Korean/Japanese, 47% Chinese.

For comparison:
Me in middle school: 1% eastern european, 20% southern european, 36% anglo saxon and 43% korean/japanese
Me just now: 29% middle eastern, 16% anglo saxon, 21% korean/japanese and 24% chinese
My dad: 31% eastern european, 62% southern european and 7% anglo-saxon
My mom: 24% eastern european, 27% southern european, 48% anglo saxon
And my older brother: 58% southern european and 42% anglo saxon

Oh well. Konichiwah, bitches.

08 June, 2005

Cinco de Mayo

Next year, I'm asking for the day off (choose the EH version).

Found via Plogress, which has extremely useful RSS feeds detailing just what your elected officials are doing.

02 June, 2005


Ah, would you look at that...Someone threw away a perfectly good ferret.

Hvala in the garbage Hvala in the garbage

Haute High Tension

Movie: High Tension
Directed by: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Cécile de France, Maïwenn le Besco, and a whole bunch of other French people you've never heard of
Rating: 3 out of 5

Synopsis: Marie (de France) goes to the French countryside to visit her friend Alex's (Maïwenn) famiy, who are recent transplants to the area. Then, someone has to come and start killing everyone.

There's more. I could go on about bad Freudian imagery. Or anti-empowerment message that seems to come through. But that's a lot of words, and I've got pictures of a ferret I need to post.

Squirrel's Nuts

Why is everything here completely pointless?

(It's a new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory trailer)

01 June, 2005

Happy Birthday

According to the Wikipedia entry on Scotch whisky:

Whisky has been produced in Scotland for hundreds of years. It is generally agreed that Dalriadan Scottish monks brought distillation with them when they came to Caledonia to convert the Picts to Christianity in the fourth and fifth centuries A.D. Friar John Cor recorded the first known batch of scotch whisky June 1st 1495. The first taxes on whisky production were imposed in 1644, causing a rise in illicit whisky distilling in the country. In 1823, Parliament eased the restrictions on licensed distilleries, while at the same time making it harder for the illegal stills to operate, ushering in the modern era of Scotch production.

So happy birthday to Scotch! Everyone give yourself a gift and down a glass of something single malted tonight.


Free doughnut on Friday (the 3rd) from Krispy Kreme.


27 May, 2005

20 May, 2005

16 May, 2005

Rabbits and Roosevelt Island

RabbitFirst off, don't let this guy's cute and fuzzy appearance fool you: he's a vicious killer. With big fangs.

Pointy fangs!



Well, okay. He (and his compatriot in the other pictures) are only killers of plants. But they're my plants, damnit. Poor little beanstalks never even had a chance to grow to the clouds!

Plus, rabbits do this weird thing where they pee on your feet. Or at least, I hope it's pee. But I digress.

Got these pictures right before I headed over to see Jenny. Little bastards just sitting there, in my garden, looking at me like nothing was wrong.

"What, you mean you didn't plant these for us? INCONCEIVABLE!"

Anyone know any good stew recipes?

So anyways, picked up Jenny and her dog, and headed over to Roosevelt Island. And took pictures. Enjoy. (I'll get around to captioning them at some point.)

15 May, 2005

Don't Mess With (Virginia and) Texas

Some people seemed concerned that the South is getting more military than the rest of the country.

"Virginia and Texas have bigger militaries that just about anybody on the planet," says John Pike, a defense analyst at GlobalSecurity.org. With this realignment, he adds, "It's accentuated."

13 May, 2005

Quick Review: 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'

My thoughts on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

  • Mos Def made a great Ford Prefect.

  • The Vogons were dead on. Fat, bloated sacks wearing pin-stripes and monacles, requesting "Permission to Persue" forms, does a great job of capturing the overly-bureaucratic and officious nature of the species.

  • Marvin needed more screen time. And why no complaints about the pain running down the diodes on his left side?

  • Nice cameo by the original Marvin. Might have been interesting to see both Marvins talking to each other, although I suspect that would do wonders to depress the entire audience.

  • I want my next computer to look like Deep Thought. Only smaller.

  • All in all, I thought the writing was pretty good. (I'd hope so, since Adams did the early drafts of the screenplay.) Yes, many of the jokes were eviscerated from their form in the original series. I didn't kill my enjoyment of the movie, though.

Honestly, I think they did a pretty good job with this particular adaptation. Is it perfect? Was I sitting in wide-eyed fan-boy fascination during the whole thing? Did it make me want a cup of some beverage that tastes similar too, but wholely unlike, tea? Well, no. But still, I give it a B. I enjoyed watching it, I thought the new material was good

Cute Little Kittens

Awwww! How cute! Show me another!

10 May, 2005

Size 13 Head

Damn, my head is big.

But much less ugly when shaved than I would have ever thought. Although I'm certain if I shaved it close with a razor, the bumps and ridges woudln't be all that great.

Sorry, no pictures. It's a real pain trying to use a camera on yourself.

Courage and Hvala

Courage and Hvala playingI've been watching Jenny and Gary's ferret for the last week or so. And for those of you that know me, you probably know my cat, who is afraid of...well, everything. But interestingly enough, Courage (the cat) has gotten along fairly well with Hvala (the ferret).

Some pix I snapped of them "playing" together. Sadly, I was not quick enough to get a really good shot of Hvala riding Courage like an elephant. But oh well. Maybe some other time.

At the Uptown


Oh well, at least they're not as bad as these guys.

Fuckin' Ya Moms

This should probably not be viewed by anyone: Fuckin' Ya Moms in da Ass


02 May, 2005


old school pirate bootleg mp3s

Link via WFMU's Beware of Blog

Quick Review: 'House of Wax'

Just got back from watching House of Wax, and let me just say, worth every penny...of my free screening. Ha!

Best part of the movie: Paris Hilton's death. Worst part: It doesn't happen in the first fifteen minutes. So it goes.

As horror movies go, it wasn't too terrible. It didn't rely on bad special effects, and it definitely tried to build some suspense. Sadly, the lack of decent dialogue, or maybe just the bad delivery, really kept the movie down. Well, that and the Tiger Beat generation a few rows over screaming for that dreamy Chad Michael Murray.

Final grade: C-. Wait for the video, and put it in your Netflix queue.

29 April, 2005

Such a Geek

I'm such a geek. I just set up a blog on one of my machines at work, to keep people up-to-date about the condition of the server. Which is certainly a good thing, because it's the Webtrends machine, and it has all kinds of problems. But some would say, why not just set up an e-mail list?

27 April, 2005

Google Maps and Directions

Today, I asked Google Maps for directions to Chantilly, VA. It told me:

  1. Head north from N Vermont St - go 0.1 mi

  2. Turn left at Wilson Blvd - go 2.2 mi

  3. Turn right at Arlington Blvd - go 0.3 mi

  4. Bear left onto the US-50 W ramp to Fairfax - go 3.0 mi

  5. Take the I-495 ramp to Richmond/Rockville (I-66) - go 0.1 mi

  6. Take the I-495 N ramp to Rockville (I-66) - go 1.0 mi

  7. Take the I-66 W exit 49C to Vienna/Front Royal - go 6.7 mi

  8. Take the US-50 W exit 57B to Fair Oaks/Winchester - go 0.9 mi

  9. Continue - go 0.2 mi

  10. Continue on Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy - go 7.0 mi

  11. Continue on US-50 W - go 1.9 mi

  12. Chantilly-specific directions

As far as I can tell, I didn't ask for the longest, and most convoluted, route to get to US 50 past the Beltway possible.

Even better, if I ask for directions from the intersection of Wilson Blvd & Glebe Rd (less than two blocks from my house), it tells me to drive up Glebe, hang a left on Washington Blvd, and then get on I-66W when they intersect.

My house is less than half of a mile from the Fairfax Drive on-ramp to I-66W. The Wilson & Glebe intersection is even closer to said on-ramp. I ask you, what does Google Maps have against Fairfax Drive in Arlington?!

25 April, 2005

Starved for the Internet

Someone went a little too far to get first post.

Web Analysis

Just some quick stats:

Product Start Time Finish Time
Urchin 10:41:45 AM 1:07:36 PM
Webtrends Reporting Center 9:18:40 AM Still going

Now, the sad thing is, this isn't really a fair comparison.

For some background, this is happening on a Windows XP box with dual-P4 CPUs (3.4Ghz each) and 2GB of physical RAM.

The Webtrends profile is reading 2.2GB worth of log files, spread out over two servers (load-balancing). The start date is Aug 1, 2004.

The Urchin profile is for only one of the load-balancing servers, and it's start date is Jan 1, 2005. It has 20.0GB of logs to read.

Both applications are running on the same machine, obviously at the same time. Just to reiterate, Webtrends is still working on it's report. It's much, much smaller report. At the time of this post, it had made it through January 23, 2005. So at least somewhere past the 50% point.


Serentiy Trailer

Should be available sometime tomorrow.

Joy! Rapture!

UPDATE: It's up

"Define interesting."
"Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die?"

24 April, 2005

More Changes

Okay, along with the switch to Textdrive for hosting, I've moved over to Wordpress for blogging software. Serendipity wasn't too bad, but it's templating system was entirely too baroque for me to futz around with.

Let me know if something looks out of place. I think I have everything working correctly, but you never know.

19 April, 2005

18 April, 2005

Northwest Drought


Oh, and grapes, too. So it goes.

I've Been Everywhere, Man

While walking back from Lazy Sundae (hey, they did good on their last few health inspections), I got to thinking: eating bubblegum ice cream is like eating watermelon...just with tastier seeds.

Just thought I'd share the kind of nonsense that fills my head while walking around and eating ice cream.

Also bought some new earphones for my iPod from the Apple Store up in Clarendon. Sadly, they no longer carry the old skool, white earbuds. Well, at least, not without a remote control for the dock-style iPods. Which I don't have. Thanks for making me regret my early adoption of the iPod, Apple.

They're trying to sell those damn in-ear buds. Which I bought a pair of a while back, and I just hated them. My ears must be freakishly designed (and no comments from the peanut gallery), because no matter what combination of attachments I used, I could never get a comfortable fit. So it goes.

Instead, I bought the Plantronics MX100S, which has the added advantage of being a handsfree headset for my cell phone. After some fiddling around to get the bastards in my ears, I was very happy with how they felt on the walk home, and the sound was great. $40 well spent, I think.

17 April, 2005

All the Tea in China

Okay, so the gist of this story is that someone is ripping off people by selling a PB&J for $6.50 and a bowl of Corn Flakes for $7.50. (That someone would actually pay that much is an amazing act of stupidity...but oh well, people are stupid.) What I found odd was this:

THERE'S AN E-MAIL bumping around cyberspace that, because gas prices are approaching $3 per gallon, tries to put things in perspective on your next trip to the pump. In an effort to soothe your angst, the missive points out that Lipton Iced Tea costs $9.52 per gallon, and Gatorade costs $10.17 per gallon. Diet Snapple? $10.32 per gallon.

Who the fuck is paying that much for Lipton Iced Tea? You can buy a box of tea bags for less than four bucks, and that box makes gallons and gallons of iced tea. If you're going to complain about the price of something, try not picking items that you can make yourself for a lot less...you just end up looking like a fool paying for water, packaging and shipping. Same thing goes for the Gatorade, although I have no idea how much a package of the powder costs, so maybe it is closer to $10.17/gallon, but I doubt it.

Oh, and this isn't direted to the writer of the article, it's directed to whomever wrote the e-mail she was quoting. The author was smart and pointed out the folly in comparing the relative prices of gas and iced tea, seeing as how your car doesn't run on iced tea.

15 April, 2005


Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Tertiary Phase is now available on iTunes.

Also, there's a trailer for the BBC's production of the Quandry Phase.

The Tragedy

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of ravers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

14 April, 2005

Papal Elections

Bruce Schneier talks about hacking the papal election. Well, sort of. More of a security review for the whole process, which turns out to be relatively secure. At the very least, you get a good description of just what the process is like, and how amazingly tedious it is.

13 April, 2005

Black Box Privacy

Scoff all you want at North Dakota, at least the politicians there care about privacy:

Legislation aimed at informing automobile buyers of the presence of "black box" recorders in new vehicles has cleared the North Dakota state legislature and is headed for the signature of Governor John Hoeven. The final conference report was adopted by the House yesterday 87-3 and was passed in the House on April 8 by a 42-0 vote.

The legislation essentially gives ownership of the data recorded by the black box to the vehicle owner. Black boxes can disclose whether the owner was wearing a seat belt, vehicle speed and other data. The measure requires a court order before any of that information can be used in court and prohibits insurance companies from requiring access to the black box as a condition for obtaining insurance coverage. North Dakota Republican State Senator Ray Holmberg introduced the measure after learning that the devices were being placed in vehicles without notice.

Sure, you might be cold most of the year. And not really near anything particularly interesting. But at least your black box data is safe!

12 April, 2005

Age Limit

Ah, the race card.

"In the last two or three years, the rookie of the year has a been a high school player. There were seven high school players in the All-Star game, so why we even talking an age limit?" said O'Neal, who was drafted out of high school in 1996 by the Portland Trail Blazers.

"As a black guy, you kind of think that's the reason why it's coming up. You don't hear about it in baseball or hockey. To say you have to be 20, 21 to get in the league, it's unconstitutional. If I can go to the U.S. army and fight the war at 18, why can't you play basketball for 48 minutes?"

So much about the Constitution that I never knew! Somewhere, enshrined in that document, is my right to play professional sports. What an absolutely amazing document. No wonder our country kicks so much ass! I'll bet the Iraqis won't find that in their constitution.

Although what's really scary is the idea that maybe, just maybe, the NBA is trying to encourage kids to stay in school and develop some skills that will help them after their career-ending injuries. Or not. I can't really imagine any sports league caring that much about its players.

Beer Fridge

Homer Simpson is right: The Japanese are light years ahead of us.

04 April, 2005


Last Sunday, I planted some seeds I saved from last season. Both cantaloupe and pepper, the variety of which I can't recall right now. And amazingly, they have started poking through the dirt, trying ever-so-hard to live.

  • Cantaloupe seedling - cantaloupe

  • Cantaloupe seedling - cantaloupe

  • Cantaloupe seedling - cantaloupe (different)

  • Pepper seedling - pepper (very hard to see)

Larger pictures here

How High's the Water, Mama?

Johnny Cash sings, for you, Wo Ist Zu Hause Mama?. Who knew!

Link via WFMU's blog, with an amusing bit about the emergency broadcast system.


Ah, the government gets involved again

When new STDs were first noticed about 20-30 years ago, many people believed that they could be fully controlled if everyone used a condom correctly every time they had sex. It made good sense. Just cover up any area that might be infected or might become infected.

So, basically, before 1975, people had no idea how gonorrhea, syphillis, and the like were transmitted.


01 April, 2005

Damn Lists

Damn top ten lists. Like some strange kind of virus, infecting the brain. So here's mine:

  1. "World Forum" - Monty Python (Monty Python Instant Record Collection)
  2. "Polynomial-C" - Aphex Twin (Classics)
  3. "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" - B.J. Thomas (Forrest Gump soundtrack)
  4. "Journey From Eden" - Steve Miller Band (Box Set)
  5. "Johnny Kick a Hole in the Sky" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (What Hits?!)
  6. "Lou" - King Missile (Mystical Shit)
  7. "Guerrillas in the Mist" - Consolidated (Play More Music)
  8. "Message in a Bottle" - Peterbuilt (Totally Fucking the 80s)
  9. "James River" - Cracker (Gentleman's Blues)
  10. "Yohoho" - KMFDM (Attak)

Damn. Number 11 was PE's "Burn Hollywood Burn". That totally would've boosted my street cred!

April Fool's Ouiji Board

Did I miss the memo about ouiji boards today?

Get Fuzzy for 1 April 2005
Foxtrot for 1 April 2005

I'm surprised that the Comics Curmudgeon hasn't said anything about this.

Google Ride Finder

Google comes up with some strange, albeit cool, stuff. Like Ride Finder, which appears to combine Google maps with GPS, to help you figure out the location of participating taxis, shuttle buses, etc in your area.

Now if only I could get this info from my cellphone while drunk!

[Link via Google Blog]

31 March, 2005

Nothing's Hotter Than ASU!

Apparently, Appalachian State University is HOT HOT HOT!

[Link via Dave Barry's blog]

I Want My Western Cheeseburger!

"No, ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down their over a cheeseburger..." [Windows Media]

I can not vouch for the authenticity of this tape. But I did work at a Burger King for a couple of years, in a small college town, mostly full of spoiled rich kids who made demands as if getting a cheap Whopper was enshrined in the Constitution. So I can certainly see how this call would have been made in the first place.

And let me just give some kudos to this 911 dispatcher for the way she handled the call. Did you ever know, that you're my hero?

[Link via Pandagon]

27 March, 2005

What Do I Want?

Schindlers' lawyer: Legal fight near end

In his five-page decision Saturday, Greer said that Schiavo's parents had failed to meet the burden of proof necessary to prove their latest assertion: that Terri Schiavo had attempted to verbalize "I want to live."

The motion filed by Schiavo's parents motion said, "She managed to articulate the first two vowel sounds, first articulating AHHHHHHH and then virtually screaming WAAAAAAAA."

But virtually no chance she was trying to say "I want to die", I'm sure.

25 March, 2005

See a Need, Fill a Need

Man Sells Device That Blocks Fox News

It's not that Sam Kimery objects to the views expressed on Fox News. The creator of the "Fox Blocker" contends the channel is not news at all. Kimery figures he's sold about 100 of the little silver bits of metal that screw into the back of most televisions, allowing people to filter Fox News from their sets, since its August debut.

So I wonder how much longer before we get the conservative version that blocks out CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC. And PBS. Oh, Comedy Central. Probably Food TV, as well.

24 March, 2005

Testing geshi

Here is some code:

import cElementTree as ElementTree
import pg
import time

dbPrefix = 'blog'
tree = ElementTree.parse('miscdebris.xml')
elem = tree.getroot()
ItemList = elem.findall('item')[/python]


You're probably thinking to yourself, if you're one of my five regular readers: the hell?!

I've been looking around for some new blogging software, and for now, at least, I've settled on Serendipity. For some reason, I became popular with the comment spam, and the Blacklist plugin for Movabletype just wasn't cutting it. With this, I get moderation of comments (plus other nifty and probably pointless features.)

And yeah, I'm going to be working on how the site displays stuff. Just as soon as I can figure out the templating system.

Don't forget to update your bookmarks to point to http://blog.jgumby.com

22 March, 2005


Ah, good ol' judicial tyranny. At least, according to Rick Santorum:

"You have judicial tyranny here," Santorum told WABC Radio in New York. "Congress passed a law that said that you had to look at this case. He simply thumbed his nose at Congress."

I hear it was actually more of a pick-and-flick at Congress.

"That's nice for him to say that. But that's not what Congress told him to do," he added. "Judges should obey the law. And this judge - in my mind - simply ignored the law."

Oh yeah, I forgot about that long-lost Article VIII (or maybe Amendment 10.5) of the US Constitution: The judiciary, when told to do so by the legislature, with full consent of the executive, shall roll over and play dead, like good little doggies.

[Warning: link goes to NewsMax]

20 March, 2005

In My Backyard (20 Mar 2005)

A few snapshots from my backyard. These flowers have just started poking up in the backyard, completely on their own:

mystery flower mystery flower

Anyone know what they are? I'm sure they're common enough that I should know, but sadly, my botany classes in college didn't involve a lot of identifying different flowers. Mostly just theory on botany. How useful!

And hopefully not too early, I've planted some bushes. One is a gooseberry bush, the other two are raspberries. I think we're safe from frost, but of course, as I was finishing up with the dirt, the thunder and lightning started. Hopefully, nothing too major and it won't upset anything. But hey, they were four bucks each, so I'm not going to get too worked up over it.

Update: The mystery flowers are crocus. Crocuses. Croci. Crocusen. Something like that.

Temper Tantrum

I have to wonder why Michael L. Cady, commissioner in Frederick county, Maryland, decided to throw a big temper tantrum in public. Couldn't he have just threatened to hold his breath until he turned blue?

16 March, 2005

11 March, 2005


From an article about the Left Behind series of books in Harper's Magazine:

Seeking a better view of the action, Rayford abandons his ATV for a Hummer, "riding shotgun," which, write Jenkins and LaHaye in something less than a Proustian reverie, "transported him back to college when he and his fraternity brothers would compete to call the favored seat, sometimes as much as twenty-four hours before a trip." [Emphasis mine]

Now, I'm sorry. But calling shotgun 24 hours in advance? We all know that's BS. How can I accept a story from an author who obviously doesn't even understand the basic rules of shotgun? Sheesh.

09 March, 2005

Screenshots of the Real World

Screenshots of the Real World

A series of drawings from an isometric perspective, in the style of a computer game. The subject of each drawing is the image, or images, that created a popular cultural event. Historical events (like the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at the Lorraine Motel) are used interchangeably with fictionalized events (like the picnic scene from The Sound of Music).

28 February, 2005

Raising Prices

"Illegal downloading is killing our industry." "Booooo!"
"Hey, let's start offering our content for download at a price." "Yaaaay!"
"Wow, it's working. Let's raise the price." "Yaaaay!"
"People are illegally downloading music again." "Booooo!"

Why don't the executives at these various record labels just stop by their customers' houses and molest their pets? That would be the quickest and most efficient method to alienate them.

16 February, 2005

Movie Gallery

These jerks are currently trying to flood the DOJ with complaints about the acquisition of Hollywood Video by Movie Gallery. So I decided to take advantage of their e-mail form:

Dear Attorney General Gonzales,

I am very concerned with the actions of the group, Victims of Pornography, and their crusade against the Movie Gallery chain of video rental stores. And while I object to their moralising, I am more concerned about their blatant attempt at the creation of a Socialist "nanny-state", where the government is in charge of what businesses can or can not do.

I urge you to support the principles of capitalism and freedom, on which our great country was founded. If one company wishes to acquire another, in full-compliance with existing anti-trust laws, then I see no need for the government to get involved, and tell either company what to do.

To think that pornography does not exist in these neighborhoods, that the children have not seen naked people, is pure folly. And if these "concerned citizens" want to make a change, they can do so with their wallets. I am sure there are other video chains that they can rent from.

Rusty Shackleford

15 February, 2005

Feel the Excitement

Bill Gates announced IE7.

Well, he announced that they're working on it.

And that there might be a test version available. In summer.

I should start planning my migration from Firefox to IE, so I can beat the rush.

Fawlty Towers

Don't mention the war!

07 February, 2005

Linux Virgin

You can tell we've hit saturation point for porn: Linux Virgin

This funny series chronicles Karla Grundick, an eager linux groupie schoolgirl, as she is taught how to build a computer by Mistress Koyo, the cyber punk linux expert.

Yes, watch as Karla recompiles her kernel...with sexy results!

*Insert obligatory finger joke here*

Platinum Visa

Nerd alert!

04 February, 2005

Referer Spam

Well, now I know one of the products being used to create all of the referer spam I end up dealing with. Something called Reffy, found at http://www.reffy.net/. Even worse, my suspicions about why they do it have been confirmed:

Now, the premises behind the concept of referrer marketing are these: 1) all servers/hosts log the referrer information of the visitors coming to its sites; 2) an important part of all statistical programs is the displaying and linking of all logged referrer strings, which webmasters actively look at and click through because they are curious about what kinds of sites have links to their own sites; 3) a high and even sharply increasing number of websites, particularly "blogs", automatically link back to sites that have sent traffic to them in public "referrer tables" which surfers often use to find more and particularly relevant sites.

So to all of those people out there with those cute little "who's been linking to me?" scraps of code...fucking stop it.

And I would like to reiterate my position on spammers: they should all be drug out into the middle of the street, disemboweled, and then slowly beaten to death. Just because some people are stupid enough to listen to your spiel, doesn't mean the rest of want to.


From the President's State of the Union address:

Tonight I propose a three-year initiative to help organizations keep young people out of gangs, and show young men an ideal of manhood that respects women and rejects violence.

I am the only one who sees a kind of sick humor in that last bit? "Oh, we respect women...except when it comes to them making decisions about their own bodies." And the violence, well, that shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

I also like how SOTU looks an awful lot like STFU.

03 February, 2005

The Mac Mini

The Emporer's New Computer. This is either the most brilliant satire ever, or the stupidest person in the world. Unfortunately, the phrase "a DeVry graduate with an MCSE certification" at the bottom doesn't help the satire cause.

(Which is annoying, cause I had a great rant already written about it. Oh well.)

27 January, 2005

Make the Vagina Tight

Ladies and gentlemen, disreputable people of all ages, with the possible exception of children, step right up and hear me now! Do you suffer from the heartbreak of....EXCESS. VAGINAL. WETNESS? (Insert echo effect). Fear not, because I have for you today the miracle of modern science: Absorbshun. Yes, you heard me correctly, Absorbshun. Guaranteed to put an end to that embarrassing squishing noise you hear when knocking boots. Bumping uglies. Making the beast with two backs. Doin' the nasty. And other recreational pasttimes enjoyed by many throughout the world. Step right up and order your's now, while supplies last!

26 January, 2005

21 January, 2005

Midnight Toker

Ah, Norman Cook. You have a penchant for such strange music videos. This one for The Joker is no exception.

Warning: Excessively cute.

19 January, 2005

Abuse in Basra

Y'know, I don't condone torture. But if you're going to do it, don't fucking take pictures of it.

Some pictures NSFW.

17 January, 2005

The iPod Fad

Dell dismisses "one-product wonder" iPod as a "fad"

"It's interesting the iPod has been out for three years and it's only this past year it's become a raging success. Well those things that become fads rage and then they drop off. When I was growing up there was a product made by Sony called the Sony Walkman - a rage, everyone had to have one," he said. "Well you don't hear about the Walkman anymore. I believe that one product wonders come and go. You have to have sustainable business models, sustainable strategy."

Yup, the walkman rage. Everyone certainly had to have one. In fact, I would bet almost everyone did have one. Although the funny thing is, I still see people buying them today. Oh, sure, not in the same numbers as the early 80s. But people still buy them. And it's not like Sony stopped with the Walkman, either. I mean, last I checked, they actually offer quite a few good-quality, consumer-grade audio components and products.

Oh, and pardon me if I'm not remembering correctly, but didn't they pretty much invent the compact disc?

I'd really hate for something like that to happen with Apple and the iPod. It would just be terrible. Absolutely terrible.

Now, let's compare that with the lasting innovations that Dell has brought us over the years....


(Wait for it)

The Dell dude? The Dell delf? Those interns? Bad case design?

I must be missing something

Oh well, I tried. Maybe someone else knows the answer to this mystery.

12 January, 2005

Adios, WHFS

Infinity Flips WHFS to Spanish

In a shocking move, Infinity has converted 20-year modern rock bastion WHFS Washington, D.C., to Spanish as "El Zol" 99.1. The station will play a mixture of Salsa, Merengue and Bachata, targeting adults 25-54.

"We have made clear our desire to expand into this burgeoning market and believe this move marks an important step in our commitment to Spanish radio," Infinity president/CEO Joel Hollander said in statement. "There exists a tremendous opportunity for Infinity to launch a Spanish-language format in Washington, D.C. where almost 10% of the population is not being directly served. El Zol will be the most powerful Spanish radio station in the area and will provide listeners with the music, entertainment and information relevant to the many segments of the Latino culture."

You know, all I can really say about this is: what the fuck? I mean, I understand the marketing needs to reach a diverse crowd of 25-54 year-olds and blah blah wank wank blah...but why not take one of those useless adult contemporary or lite jazz stations to experiment with? And more importantly, why be such chicken-shits about the whole thing and surprise us with the switch?

And a message to Infinity: I'm in that "prized" 25-54 demographic, and shit like this is what's going to make me subscribe to XM. My car stereo is already XM-compatible. I just need to buy the receiver and hook it all up. $10 (or less) per month sounds like a small price to pay to listen to decent music, and actually have some choice in what kind.

To paraphrase the summary, and quote our beloved vice-president: go fuck yourselves.

And to stave off the obvious attack: I really wouldn't care what format they had changed WHFS to, I would still be pissed. About the only format that wouldn't piss me off is the rarely heard "Only Music That James Likes (aka, No Music That Sucks)." And last I heard, there isn't a single station on this planet that can make that claim. (And trust me, your favorite station out in BFE that you've loved since high school; the one you mourn not having around and must suffer what we have here locally because no one is as good as they were; that station...it sucks, too.)

It's Over

Color me shocked.

Intelligence officials have confirmed the US has stopped searching for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

They say the chief US investigator, Charles Duelfer, is not planning to return to the country.

Mr Duelfer reported last year that Iraq had no stockpiles of chemical or biological weapons at the time of the US-led invasion nearly two years ago.

Good thing that the real reason we went there was to liberate the Iraqis. Otherwise, we might've looked silly.


Relax, hipster, we'll tell you when it's ready.

04 January, 2005

Halo 2 and Linksys Routers

If you happen to be using the Linksys Wireless G router (model WRT54G), and are having problems with Xbox live (specifically, not being able to join certain parties in Halo 2), do this:

Go to your router's setup page. (Probably, but consult your manual if you're not sure.)
Under Administration, Management, disable UPnP.
Save settings

Hopefully, you should be able to join parties now. Randy and I had been banging our heads over this issues for at least a week now. Following some random link on the Bungie website, I finally found that solution.

All I can say is, motherfucking hallelujah!

And apparently, this is a known issue, and Microsoft and Linksys are working hard on a fix. Which I'm guessing will require some kind of firmware upgrade for the Xbox, so it might never happen.

Fun in the Drive-Thru

Man berates Burger King staff for running out of fries

A man angrily berated fast-food employees and nearly hit a worker with his truck when a drive-thru clerk told him the restaurant was out of french fries, police said.

Gregg Luttman, 22, was charged with assault, reckless endangerment and other charges stemming from the confrontation at the Burger King restaurant in Sandy Township about 5 p.m. New Year's Day.

Township police Sgt. Rod Fairman said Luttman made an obscene gesture to the drive-thru clerk, then entered the building with another man. Luttman repeatedly cursed at the restaurant staff then walked back to his vehicle; when he noticed restaurant workers taking down his license number, Luttman revved his pickup in reverse, nearly hitting one of the employees, Fairman said.

All I can say is, wow. That certainly ranks up their with the guy who threw his lit cigarette at me (missing my face by inches) and then got pretty damn indignant because we 1) wouldn't let him use the phone to call his father, the attorney; 2) kicked him out the store and 3) wouldn't let him or his friends back in to use the bathroom. Odd, that.

Or the drunk guy who threw his drink at me. That was fun. I got to ride in a police cruiser and ID the punk.

Or the dumbass who jumped over the fence that seperated our parking lot from the next-door McDonald's, and landed on the hood of my car. There was still an impression of that moron's head on the car when I got rid of it last month. Oh, and for more amusement, this moron got a job at Burger King a few months later...amazing that he didn't last that long.

I could go on, but I won't. Randy probably has even more Amusing Stories of Dumbassitude®, since he worked at BK longer than I did.

Did I ever mention how glad I am not to be working at Burger King anymore?

Wising Up?

Is America finally starting to wise up? Fox's 'Daddy' Is Ratings Dud.

Adoption advocates protested the special, and tried to get Fox affiliates not to air it. In the end, viewer indifference will likely doom the concept _ "Who's Your Daddy?" continues a trend of lackluster ratings for new reality shows.

I for one welcome the day when reality TV is looked back with fond nostalgia...as we watch the usual sludge of scripted sitcoms and dramas that have plagued us for the last few decades.

03 January, 2005

Gotta Boogie

There's a fine line between art and stupidity. This guy crossed it.

(As will the moron who buys this thing. C'mon, we all know someone will. It's much to avant garde to pass up!)