26 September, 2006

20 September, 2006

Holy Fucktards, Batman

"Gee, James, you sure have an intricate system for keeping track of your work e-mails. I see you even have them archived going back to when you started here, in 2000."

Yes, I do. It might seem a bit anal-retentive (or at least OCD), but I've found that keeping such detailed records is quite helpful, especially when I get an e-mail request from a higher-up that references something I did, or at least something similar to it, from three years ago. It's been quite a time-saver.

"Wow, that's fantastic. And amazingly productive."

Yessss. Yes it is. Thank you. [suspicious look creeps on face]

"The funny thing is, there are people in our organization that can't keep themselves so well organized. Their inboxes are overflowing with e-mails, and quite often they hit their server quota, causing them all kinds of problems getting new e-mail."

Yes, I can see how that could be a problem. Especially since you've made it nearly impossible for a normal user to use the archive features of Outlook.

"What was that?"

Nothing at all. Please continue.

"Right, right. So we've decided to implement an "electronic vault". It will automagically archive any e-mails over one month old. Here, check it out for yourself. Open your "Current" folder, and click on a subfolder that's been around for a while."

Um, okay [opens oldest active ticket, which has been 'in progress' for the better part of a year now]

"You'll notice that it's practically empty!"

[room starts getting dark. sharp pains in left arm.]

"Oh, don't worry. We've conveniently moved every single e-mail in your mailbox that's over one month old, removed those pesky and easily-identifiable ticket numbers and folder names, and placed them in a big mass in 'the vault'." [beaming look of pride on face]

Wait, whu? Huh? Everything?

"Oh, yes, everything. Originally when we implemented this software, we only archived e-mails from your Inbox and Sent Mail folders. But we realized that those tricksy users were making an end-run around the vault, and merely filing all of their e-mails into different folders. And we just couldn't let that get by us. So now we archive everything."

Well, that's wonderful and all. But where are my e-mails?

"In the vault, silly. Just like we said. Here, click on 'Search EV'."

Right. [clicks]

"See how easy it is? Instead of navigating through folders that you've set up in a hierarchy, you just put in some words to search for."

What if I don't know what words I want to search for?

"How can you not know what words you want to search for?"

Well, oddly enough, knowing that all of my e-mails that are in any way related to, say, ticket #1861, would be in a folder called '1861', I didn't really bother coming up with my own personal search index for all of the hundreds of e-mails I have sitting around. In fact, considering that so many of my e-mails are sent to me, I have pracitcally no control over what is in them, and am unable to insure that specific keywords are available in each, related message.

"Well, why didn't you do that?"

Because apparently I'm not insane.

05 September, 2006

Here I am

Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they have me creating a webform that uses 'mailto' as its action.

Life...don't talk to me about life.