16 January, 2007

Past, present and the future

The way I see things, there are three temporal versions of everybody. For example, me:

  • Past James

  • Present James

  • Future James


Now, I don't know if this is true for everyone else, but in my case, Past James really fucking hates Future James.

Sure, some of it because Future James can be a real dick. Every Friday morning, as I stumble in to work, thinking about another eight hours of tedium, Future James is sitting at home, laughing at (Past) me. Wake up with a hangover? Future James is already feeling better. Reading a book? That bastard already knows the ending. You get the picture.

So it's come down to this: Past James does stupid things, as a way of getting back at Future James.

  • "Why yes, I think I will have another beer!"

  • "Sleep? Why would I possibly need more than three hours of sleep before going to work?"

  • "That unicorn tattoo sounds like a great idea!"


And the like.

But something doesn't quite fit. There's only one person who been at the scene of all of these crimes. Of course! It's really that bastard, Present James, doing all of this shit. The beer. The unicorn. The hooker named Phil. Everything. It all adds up.

Shit!

And he's going to keep getting away with it, and continue to pin the blame on Past James. He is a diabolical one, he is. Is there nothing that we can do to stop him?

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