co-worker: "Hey, where's the stuff I printed out?"
me: *blank stare*
co-worker: "I printed out a document earlier. It's not here."
me: "Oh, right. You were in here like one-and-a-half hours ago, waiting for the printer to warm up. Then it printed something, you took it, and left. I figured you were done with your transaction."
co-worker: "Well, no..."
me: "But apparently not. Because an hour later, I went to print out a two-page document. The little printer icon on my desktop told me that printing had failed. That made me sad. The print spooler tries so hard, y'know?"
me: "Never mind that, though. I checked the printer, and it was out of paper. Annoying, yes. But easily fixable. So I searched for about 10 minutes to find some paper in this building. They hide it well. But eventually, I was victorious.
So I brought the paper back, loaded tray two with fresh leafs of bright, white paper. Closed the tray, and printing began almost immediately. 'Joy,' I think to myself. 'Soon I will have my printout'.
Alas, it was not to be. Because it wasn't my print job that was executing. It was the remainder of yours. I would approximate anywhere from 90 to 100 pages. I watched it print for quite a while."
co-worker: "Great. Where is it?"
me: "I threw it in the big recycling bin out in the hallway."
co-worker: "But why?! I needed that."
me: "No, obviously you did not need that. Or else you would've taken the time to find some paper to finish your print job. I mean, surely you would have noticed that you were missing 100 pages of your document! Especially within an hour."
co-worker: "But you can't do that!"
me: "Why yes, yes I can. Do you want to know why?"
me: "Because FUCK YOU, that's why."