Dear Fuckwits of NoVA/The Greater DC Metro area:
It's only snow. There isn't even all that much of it. JUST KEEP DRIVING.
Sure, slow down a bit. That only makes sense. But for fuck's sake, safe driving speed DOES NOT equal moving at 5-10 MPH.
Also, please get the fuck out of my way. If you suck that much at driving (much like everything else in your life, I'm sure), your sorry ass should not have been out on the roads in the first place. Stay inside and do whatever the fuck it is you do while waiting for the sweet, sweet embrace of death, the only thing to look forward to in your pathetic, suburban lives.