30 January, 2009

tagline

a critic-quote for the movie 'new in town':

It's Legally Blonde meets 'Sweet Home Alabama'


and for some reason, a marketing person at the movie studio thought that this is a good thing.

(seriously, this movie looks like a five-peanut turd. hahaha! them folks from minnesota sure are wacky with their snow and ice and hunting and 'oh yah's all over the place. i mean, yeah, they are, but the coen brothers did a better job of illustrating this fact in 'fargo'.)

28 January, 2009

insanity

yesterday:

  • shoveled and salted the walkway and sidewalk in front of the house
    • good: limits liability and keeps the county of everyone's back

    • bad: my back is now grumpy at me

    • also bad: new layer of ice that formed overnight is the only thing on the walkway and sidewalk. no layer of snow underneath to aid in walking

  • took out trash and recycling
    • good: didn't have to do it this morning

    • also good: was able to lounge in my fleece pants and play xbox 360 with a guilt-free conscience

    • bad: didn't think to bring in some firewood before changing into fleece pants. no toasty fire


today:
  • woke up at 4AM to go to gym
    • good: going to the gym is good, right?

    • bad: fore-mentioned layer of ice on walkway, sidewalk and my car. why go to the gym with the workout i'm getting from all of this scraping?

    • bad: some roads still not to clear. lots of ice right around my office/gym



at first, i thought the gym was closed. as i was walking towards it, i saw two other people try to get in, but the doors were locked. luckily, someone let them in, and a third person walked up and went in on my way over there. but the place was DEAD. no one at the front desk to swipe my membership card, which luckily doesn't need to happen for me to do anything. locker room, empty. i get to the main exercise floor and no one is there. absolutely no one. i have full run of the place. i hop on a stationery bike, do my thing. and i kid you not, during my hour on the bike, TWO people came in and used the fucking treadmill RIGHT BEHIND ME. there are literally dozens of treadmills to choose from in that place, and these motherfuckers chose THAT ONE. what the fuck, people? i'm not that pretty to look at, and i'm sure as hell not going to start a conversation with you. get your fucking co-dependent, i-need-to-be-near-other-people fix somewhere else.

16 January, 2009

abortion doughnuts!

Pro-Life Group up in Arms over Krispy Kreme's Abortion Doughnuts

i hear every doughnut you buy pays for an unwed, teenaged mother to get a 4th trimester abortion, performed by satan himself.

08 January, 2009

welcome to the breadline, boys

dear lockheed martin:

please go eat a big bag of dicks. stop screwing around with paying my boss. i would like very much to get my paycheck.

fuck all you guys,
-me

07 January, 2009

mantyhose

Checklist for this website:


  • Promote acceptance of men wearing pantyhose: check

  • Pictures of men looking stupid in pantyhose: check

  • Explanation as to why men would ever want or need to wear pantyhose: er, um

06 January, 2009

grrrr

help desk to me: we've opened a ticket for such-and-such problem
me to help desk: that problem is not our group. please re-assign to the windows group.
help desk to me: we don't have access to that anymore, you'll have to do it
me to help desk: you just did this same thing for us earlier this morning. WTF?!

i have so much hate for our help desk.
hate hate hate hate. hate.