Quote of the day (so far, at least):

[13:11] jgumby314: that’s about 30% more urine than should really be involved in any love-making process
[13:12] GatLouca: you scare me.

[10:49] jgumby314: huzzah. finally got around to depositing my bonus checks, so i am now flush with cash
[11:30] GatLouca: like a toilet?
[11:31] jgumby314: yes
[11:31] jgumby314: a money toilet
[11:32] GatLouca: fascinating.
[11:32] GatLouca: would that make the money “toilet paper”?
[11:32] jgumby314: oh, nono. i mean a toilet for money
[11:32] jgumby314: that’s how we get coins
[11:33] GatLouca: aaah.
[11:33] jgumby314: dollar bills shit out quarters, dimes and nickels
[11:33] GatLouca: faskernating.
[11:34] jgumby314: pennies, on the other hand, are made from animal feces.
[11:34] jgumby314: which is why they’re brown
[11:34] GatLouca: eeew.
[11:34] GatLouca: gross.
[11:34] jgumby314: it explains that old saying: “see a penny, pick it up, and all the day you’ll have the smell of feces on your fingers”
[11:35] GatLouca: so it would.

[12:20] jgumby314: oh, so not right: http://www.gizmodiva.com/home_gadgets/
wacom_hello_kitty_edition_tablet.php
[12:20] GatLouca: why didn’t you warn me that the link is not safe for eyes?
[12:21] jgumby314: because i’m an evil, cruel bastard
[12:21] GatLouca: you are.

[09:57] jgumby314: wow: http://smallhamster.blogspot.com/2006/10/
why-midterms-suck-above-all-part-1.html
[09:58] GatLouca: awwww. she linked to you!
[09:58] jgumby314: i know
[09:58] jgumby314: i’m all a-flutter
[09:58] GatLouca: heh

“You’re such a fat ass, Cartman, that when you walk down the street, people go ‘God damn it, that is a big fat ass!‘”

Also: coolest. statues. ever. Although Randy had this to say about them:

why bosnia
why not in DC
we love bruce lee too!
or even better in fairfax
i would light a candle there every night

Things I don’t need to know:

jgumby314: does anyone really care about their voiceovers?
[witness protection]: not really
[witness protection]: they are probably fake, like the bylines in playboy
jgumby314: heh
[witness protection]: I like bunnies
jgumby314: only the bylines are fake?
[witness protection]: and i like to think about guys getting off lookin a the magazine

Update: I had completely forgotten about the earlier part of our conversation, after I sent a link regarding legislation to ban mercury-filled thermometers in our state:

[witness protection]: well too many babies were getting broken glass & mercury enemas
jgumby314: damn stupid parents!
[witness protection]: damn babies with their super strong sphincters!
jgumby314: i had no idea
[witness protection]: you could choke a cat with one of those things
jgumby314: i’m not sure i want to know how you know this.
jgumby314: sicky

GatLouca: wanna experiment with sausage with me?
GatLouca: hehehehehehehhehehe

In case you’ve ever wondered about what I do while at work:

J Ness (13:49:07): heh. i’ll just start using my porn name
Jenny (13:49:23): ….?
J Ness (13:49:35): sam pasadena
Jenny (13:50:18): excellent.
Jenny (13:50:18): sounds like you star in porn westerns.
Jenny (13:50:26): “the soft, the hard, and the hairy”
Jenny (13:50:49): “for a fistful of dildos”
J Ness (13:50:52): ew. hairy.
Jenny (13:51:20): “a mule for sister mary”
Jenny (13:51:20): oh, wait, that’s a real title.
J Ness (13:51:32): “the good, the bad, the well hung”
J Ness (13:52:06): “the outlaws in josie wales”
Jenny (13:53:00): i like that one.

silverwingdc: k, all this time off, and no fucking blog posts?
jgumby314: yeah,i’ve been SICK
jgumby314: this isn’t just taking a few days off.
silverwingdc: You can type, bitch
jgumby314: i also have this desire to type at least somewhat coherently in my blog
silverwingdc: Why start now?
jgumby314: bite my shiny, metal ass, fleshbag
silverwingdc: heh

And then later:

gatlouca: no new blogging?
jgumby314: i’ll tell you what i just told chris: i’ve been SICK
gatlouca: yeah… so?
jgumby314: you know, you’ll go days without posting something new. so i’m not hearing it from you
gatlouca: *grin*
gatlouca: yeah, but not when i’m close to a ‘puter.

Part of me is annoyed. Another part of me is amused that my friends practically froth at the mouth when it’s more than 24 hours between updates.

gatlouca: *nods* yup.
gatlouca: i unload once a week.
gatlouca: and it’s costing me an arm and a leg.

Seriously, the comedy just writes itself around here.